Am I being erratic? Or should I go for it?

[threesteakspam1]

Hi everyone,

I’m a 24 year old female who is struggling a little bit with the pandemic (who isn’t!). My mental health has declined a fair bit - I live with my parents and have had a few moments of crying to my mum that I feel bored, lonely and depressed and can’t be bothered to do anything. I’m currently working from home and struggling to concentrate, though this has improved a little over the last few weeks. I’ve been trying really hard to better myself - I’ve been going on frequent runs and even bought a bike for something to boost my mental health. But i will be feeling enthusiastic some days and then down for a few days after.

The other day, I was searching for new jobs and I found my absolute dream one. It’s a level higher than what I am now, it’s the perfect next step for my progression and it’s almost double the salary I’m on now. And I’ve been offered an interview!!!!!! It seems like an amazing opportunity but it is in the city. I can commute there but it would be a very long journey and so I would likely have to move there and rent a room. This idea feels me with excitement and I would love to just go for it, spread my wings a little bit and start living my life! (Obviously I may not even get the job).
But, my parents think I am being “erratic”. They think because I am bored and lonely that I’m looking for something to feel the gap and I’m doing it out of impulse and boredom. They’re almost disapproving of the fact that I’ve even applied for this job and it’s not “practical”. But I really just want a change of scene and am desperate to just life my life and get out there whilst I am this age (and single).

I don’t know if I’m being silly but I just feel like I’m being brought down a little bit. I was also on FaceTime to two of my best friends fairly late on a weekday having a catch up (until about 1am) and I really enjoyed it - and my mum said she heard me and thinks I’m being erratic and silly. She thinks it’s a sign of my mental health declining and that I’m constantly looking for something or someone to fill the gap?? I am personally just making an effort to maintain contact with my friends as I think it’s important whilst we can’t go out, and didn’t see the issue with this.

What does everybody think? I just feel quite restricted as a 24 year old but any insight would be appreciated. Should I go for the job?

I'm really hoping you get this job!

I hope you get the job OP. Your parents don't sound like very nice people and I hope you can get away from them quickly.

Well done on a great interview!
It sounds like your parents aren't supportive in the way you need right now. Perhaps they're struggling with the thought of you growing up!

Thanks so so much everyone 🤍🤍 feel slightly less useless now!

Hope you get the job OP, but whatever you do keep looking and move out as quickly as possible.

I’d avoid engaging with your parents on these issues, they don’t sound supportive at all, you don’t want them to get inside your head and make you doubt yourself.

You are at an age where you want to spread your wings as much as possible - so go for it (I suspect your mum is jealous)

@threesteakspam1 I think you may find that your mental health issues improve a great deal once you've moved out! Your parents are infantilising you.
Really, a parent's chief goal should be to guide their child towards independent adulthood.
I hope you get the job :)

I've just re-read your OP, @threesteakspam1, and I think your parents' attitude towards you is more than just a bit 'off'. I think it's quite harmful.

You only want to move out because you want to do what you want and see who you want

Parents of 24 year olds want their child to get out and see the world, they want them to be keen on developing your independence. Have your parents not been driving you bonkers for a while? Have you ever talked to them about moving out before?

I'm really not surprised that your mental health is suffering if they often speak to you this way. Can you see how unhealthy it is?

Op, I hope it went well. If it helps, I have teenagers ( and a small one) but with the teenagers I am trying to prepare them to leave home by getting them to be independent now so it isn’t such a culture shock when they do leave, I’ve spoken to the m about seeing the world, buying a house all the exciting stuff and planning what they really want to do, inside I am petrified and want to look after them forever but as a parent my job is to help them spread their wings and live their life, it’s their live not mine and I want them to succeed in what they want to do, I would never hold them back. I really hope you get the job op and live your life how you want to.

three I let my parents talk me out of jobs working in London and then one in Paris. I've always regretted not taking them and wonder how my life would have turned out. Please do what you want to do, you only have one life, live it with no regrets. Good luck!

I agree with what everyone has already said, OP. Fingers crossed for you. You have to get out. And you can absolutely do it!

So, I didn’t get the job ☹️ They offered me another role, which is really nice, but not the role for me.

It’s not that I was expecting it, it just means I now have to go through the long process applying for a load of jobs again and waiting to hear back from any, before I can even think about moving out (as I wouldn’t know which locations to look in unless I get a job!).

I’m sat in bed right now feeling so low, in the house with parents who still haven’t even asked how the interviews went (or said a word to me for that matter). I’m staring blankly at the walls not knowing what to do with myself. I haven’t heard from any friends recently and when I have reached out, no one seems to want to catch up. I feel so alone and hopeless right now ☹️

Thank you everyone for the kind and encouraging comments. They were really uplifting to read xxx

Sorry to hear that - they obviously was impressed with you to offer an alternative role !
So keep looking 😊
Best wishes

You’ve obviously impressed them so well done! Is the job they offered you really not an option? Sometimes we have to move sideways in order to move forward xx

I agree with FossilisedFanny. I think that any move that will get you out of your parent's house is a step in the right direction. It doesn't have to be forever. You'd feel a lot less oppressed and depressed if you weren't spending your time with such dispiriting people.

Will any other jobs you apply for be as 'dream' as the one you just nearly got? Or might you view every job in the world as 'not as good as that one'? If so, think very hard about the one you've been offered. You could get out and get your independence, now; someone is offering it to you. Maybe you can accept the independence for now, and get the dream job in 6 months?

Thank you all so much! It’s a fairly lower salary and I worked out that I wouldn’t quite be able to afford to move out - or at least wouldn’t have much disposable income! There’s also no progression from my current role.
Thanks all 🤍

I will definitely have a proper think over the weekend - I haven’t given them a decision yet! 😊

Well done on the offer of the alternative job, if you can make it work it will be so worth it as a first step.