Cant go on anymore

[Llh1979]

I started citalopram on monday was ok for 4 days now I'm at an all time low I've had 2 hours sleep even diazepam didnt help I'm sick with stomach ache and headache I just want to end it all
This is my 2nd reaction to SSRIs they are just not for me I'm constantly clenching my jaw its hurting I'm hurting I just wanted to be well but nothing seems to be helping I cant go on like this
I've 3 beautiful children but cant be a mum to them like this there is no point anymore
Mental health you have destroyed me
Thanks to everyone for your support on my last post I hope you all find the peace you need

#randomer I'm starting a panic course on the 8th feb so fingers crossed that helps

If they'll let you, see if you can try one of the older tricyclic ones. They dont prescribe them much as they have a lot of side effects and they say the SSRIs are more refined but I've had no side effects on mine aside from dry mouth and a couple of dizzy spells in the first fortnight. And they work. In much the same way as a sledgehammer cracks a nut but they work.

I'd dial back contact with your sister. She isn't helping you and being surrounded by negativity just makes things harder.

If you are in a position to, I'd get some private counselling. Don't underestimate how much it helps just to have someone on your side who doesn't give a fuck about anything else but you.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut I will look into one as the nhs waiting list is so long

I date mine so hopefully 1 day I can see how far I've come
This is very sensible and a positive move.

Nobody, but nobody ,chooses depression. Just as nobody chooses diabetes.

Oh and as for giving your children MH problems....no. What you are modeling for your children is everybody struggles, I am doing my best and I will overcome these struggles.
What a fantastic life lesson for them.

@randomer I just want to be well but dont know how much more I can take before I get there

I agree. All you are modelling for your children is resilience and how to ask for help when needed.

As for the counselling, best decision I've made in years. Make sure that you find one who lists Crisis management under their specialties though. Mine deals specifically with crisis and suicidal thoughts. Basically it means he talks me down when I'm sobbing down the phone to him instead of sending me to the crisis line or hospital.

Some therapists won't work with people who are in crisis which is stupid but there you go.

I just want to be well

of course and it is your right to be well and you will make it.

Thank you all I'm just so fed up of feeling like this
I managed a few hours sleep last night after throwing up from 10pm till 12pm the nausea is back in full force today hoping I get through today till I an speak to the doctor tomorrow

Hope you get to speak to a helpful doctor today, @Llh1979

@SparklingLime the doc rang this morning he has said to stop the citalopram straight away as it clearly doeant agree with me and doesnt want me to take another SSRI
Hes prescribed antisickness and a sleeping med and said he will call again in 2 weeks to see how I am
I've contacted a private therapist for an appointment for nxt monday 🤞

That sounds like really good progress, @Llh1979.

@SparklingLime if I can get rid of the nausea I think half my battle will be over then learn how to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts it's a long road ahead but hopefully one I can stay on also hoping that something positive happens with covid as that is alot of my problems

Yes, ongoing nausea must be awful. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction 😊

@SparklingLime I hope so thank you

Great progress,well done

@randomer thank you maybe tablets arent my answer I'm really hoping the therapy helps

@Llh1979, it seems those particular tablets were not suitable. Sometimes we have to try a few options, which of course is not what we wish to do, not are we well enough to do.....because of MH problems.
I think you have done brilliantly.