I haven’t felt right since I had my oldest child, 5 years ago. I did suffer with terrible PND which seemed to improve after two years. However since then I have continued to have problems with anxiety/stress/low mood. I’m exhausted with it. My poor kids must be bored rigid as we get through the day by watching endless telly whilst I attempt to keep on top of the housework or scroll aimlessly through my phone. Then the guilt sets in at how crap I’m being for them.
It gets a lot worse the week before my period where I regularly feel suicidal. Sure enough once my period arrives that awful cloud lifts and I just go back to the same anxious ways. It’s not a real feeling that lasts luckily.
My behaviour can often be unreasonable, I say things and then quickly regret the outburst, particularly at work. It’s like I can’t help it though. Once I’ve calmed down I can rationalise better. The GP isn’t great, I’ve had a full panel of bloods done which found I am anaemic/low b12 and I am taking tablets to try and fix it.
I don’t know what I want from this post, I want my old self back