ROCD/relationship anxiety

[Froggles1]

Hi!

Just wondering if anyone here suffers with ocd but specifically around their relationship?

I feel like I've read every resource and followed every therapist I can on Insta as well as having cbt etc over the years.

It's particularly flared up in lockdown. My partner & I are home together working & I've just struggled to be honest. I am someone who likes their space and when I'm in 'work' I'm in work mode. As we are home my partner will often come down from the office and cuddle me and kiss me etc but I get really annoyed as I'm not in 'that' zone...

I do have anxiety and when I'm stressed it always attacks my relationship and makes me question it. Things have been so up &down...some months I feel so happy, grateful and content and then I'll just switch to questioning the relationship, withdrawing from my partner and generally ruminating. Can anyone relate or offer advice?

No advice but can relate. It's comforting knowing it's ROCD but then sometimes I worry it's that and actually it's a bad relationship.

Rest assured it's a big part of OCD though. I only realised this last year. Have you downloaded the NOCD app? You can do specific ROCD exposures using it. I have tried putting it in but haven't done the exposures yet. My problem is constantly ruminating and comparing. This is only one of my obsessions. My MH is really shit at the moment due to lockdown and other things so I'm ruminating over tons each day which is exhausting.

Sending a hug

Also check out The OCD stories podcast - they'll have done a handful of ROCD episodes which might help

@SippingSipsmith thank you for the reply; it is always good when someone understands!

I do like the ocd stories but it has been a while so maybe I will listen back. I think lockdown has triggered me so I totally get you & hope you feel better soon!

I did download nocd but didn't use it much. Do you pay for it or get that with the free version? I think as with other ocd themes the thoughts just feel so real sometimes it's difficult 😢I do have times where I feel great but when I spike I get caught in the negative and feel like I've always been this way

We sound like the same person! Sorry you're suffering too. Pandemic has made it a lot worse and it was already bad for me.

I'm not paying for NOCD - you can go into it and build your hierarchy for exposures but it's time consuming and exposures are then obviously v hard to do especially at the moment. I'm really failing at them at the moment and that's with a therapist but have heard people do well on the app.

@SippingSipsmith it's good to know we're not alone 😘

I had ocd first when I was in my teens but didn't know what it was until I was 20 and I had a huge spike after a break up but was more HOCD at that point. When I got with my current partner was when I first experienced ROCD so I just automatically thought I wasn't into him but inside I knew I was. It wasn't a full on sparks flying start to a relationship but a gradual one that was friendship then more.

Can I ask are you uk based & is your therapist familiar with ROCD? I found a good one a few years back & I did improve hugely with her (even had my child I between 😊) but she is still more general cbt as opposed to specific exercises and exposures for ocd xx

I'm in the UK. The therapist is bit more general CBT focusing on acceptance therapy but it trying to do ERP with her. This is my 4th go

@SippingSipsmith it is so hard to find someone specialised here; I think there is so much more available in the US. Fingers crossed for you; hope it helps!
I do find mindfulness and journal (cbt) helped me in the past z

I keep meaning to buy that I will try now. Yes I think in the US they have a 2% of population as sufferers whereas here it's something like 1.2%. They seem so much more ahead. I follow so many professionals based over there on Instagram - great resource but I probably check that as a compulsion when I'm ruminating trying to work out whether fears are OCD or not. It's absolutely never ending! Will try the book thanks