I've slowly limited contact over the years with my mother due to how argumentative and toxic she is. I still keep contact though so that my children can have a relationship with the family especially as my youngest has no family apart from on my side. But for my mental health I would rather have no contact, this is nearly impossible though as all my siblings live with my mother still and are close to her, also I'd not be able to see my neice, so cutting contact with my mother would mean the whole family, the only person I'm close to is my younger sister so we could still see each other. The reason I'm on here looking for advice is because my grandad (mother's dad) passed away yesterday and I was told in message by my mum, so I continued to speak to her this way and asked her how she was, by night-time I had a message from one of my brother's in the family group chat saying this...me and my mum aren't very close anymore so phone calls aren't really something we do. What do I do from here? I've since had more messages today saying other hurtful things how I'm a crap daughter etc, I've since privately messaged my mum saying I'm here for her, but it's no good pushing me away and she hasn't replied. I'm just so hurt and mentally drained and I don't know wether I should just stay away now until the funeral or is that heartless? Do I go no contact forever or do I continue to try for the sake of my kids, I'm 30 now and I don't know how I can put up with this sort of toxic environment forever, nothing I ever do is good enough, if I see everyone more there'll still be an issue and when I keep my distance I doesn't go away. I know my mum will be having a hard time but she also has everyone else around her for support, I don't live near them anymore, is it bad that I just want them to forget I even exist and leave me alone...