No Motivation despite clear goals

[Longdale]

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I just cannot be bothered to do a thing. I have clear goals which I want to achieve and, in order they go like this:

Get a job
Get a Car
Move house

And then I feel I will be happy...but I can't be bothered to go and get them. I've fallen into a rut, take kids to school, go to shop, spend money I don't have, go home, sit on pc all day, pick kids up, repeat tomorow.

I'm supposed to be doing an Open Uni course but I just can't be bothered to keep up with it, I'm already behind. The house is a tip and it's slowly getting worse but I look at it and think "what's the point?"
I want a job but I don't seem able to get one, I want to move house desperately but without getting a job I can't. I'm stuck here every day because I have no car which again comes down to me having no job.

I just feel like I'm stuck, I feel worse each day.

Sorry to hear you are in a bad way Longdale. Strikes me your goals are pretty big ones. Maybe it might help to break them down into much smaller more manageable ones and focus on them one at a time, they might be more achievable/less daunting?

Sounds like getting a job is the first thing you need to sort out. Maybe break that goal down into, sort out cv, make appt with recruitment agencies/job centre or whatever, and keep going from there?

It seems to me that you are putting too much pressure on yourself - all your goals are linked and if you can't do one then all the others fail...it is so easy to get into a rut, especially when (IMO) when you have kids because their days are pretty much the same.

I don't mean to sound overly personal but do you think you could perhaps be suffering from a little depression? Has there ever been another time in your life when you have felt like this??

Recently I have thought about depression...I dont feel depressed so to speak, just fed up and as if I can't be bothered trying anymore. I'm a single parent so my company and adult conversation is limited but I know a bit about mental health and, if its possible I recognise symptoms of depression in myself...at least, if I was someone else asking me for advice I would assume depression, if that makes any sense?

See it's getting a job that seems to be the main thing but I imagine myself working and imaging myself waking up in a morning thinking "I cant be arsed to go in today" because the way I'm feeling, its likely to go that way.

Another thing, I am going to see a band on thursday night. One of my favourite bands and I'd been desperate to get tickets...probably the only time I'll ever get to see them as they're American and now that it's all sorted...I'm not all that bothered about going. I don't understand why.

I think you do sound depressed to me. I have suffered from depression on and off over the years - some occasions worse than ohers but I do now recognise the symptoms and it seems to me (from what you are sayhing) that you do sound depressed. I can imagine that it must be hard on your own. Has there ever been a time in your life (other than now) that you have felt like this??

yeah like you it comes and goes, this time it seems to be lingering worse than ever. Normally when I get these moods I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but now I see nothing. A voice keeps telling me I'm kidding myself thinking I will get a job and be able to move. I feel lonely, whenever I think of "families", man and wife etc I get a lump in my throat.

I know how you feel and believe me even if you have a 'family' (like I do) you can still have these feelings. I think you should make an appointment with your GP asap. My GP was always very supportive and depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It is an illness, a chemical imbalance...but you have to be able to recognise that something is wrong and do something about it.

You seem to have been setting yourself goals....well set yourself one for going to the GP...this is the first real positive step (IMO) that you can take....and you feel that you have achieved something...hope I do not sound too bossy or that I am telling you what to do...it's just that I really do know how you are feeling