ExH wrote to me today to say he's having repeated mental breakdowns and had one this morning. The DC are due to go to him tomorrow for 2 weeks but I've said that he's not in a fit state to care for them safely and they can't go.
In the past, I've suffered from extreme PND, PTSD and depression. When I was so ill that I was screaming into my pillow and staying in bed all day, couldn't cope with simple questions like 'What's for dinner?' and seriously considering running away to the countryside and living in a tent, I had no choice but to carry on looking after the DC and doing my best. I wouldn't consider it my finest hour of parenting or safe for them or me.
ExH hasn't given me any details of what he's doing to get himself better. He lives 200 miles away with his new wife and their toddler. I have no idea whether or not she works. Up until now he's had them EoW but in the first lockdown we did 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off and this would be the first week of going back to that arrangement.
ExH and his wife make no bones of the fact they hate me. Information is likely to be slow or non-existent in coming. I'm trying to think of how to balance the DC having contact with their dad at such a long distance with keeping them safe. For me to be happy with them going, I'd want to know that he had seen his GP and was actively engaging with treatment. From my own experience, drugs take a couple of weeks to kick in and talking therapies initially leave me very vulnerable.
Any ideas on how to manage this to keep the DC in contact but safe? They're 10 and 8.