Hi all,
I'll try and keep it brief and I'm sorry if my post seems disjointed. There's always so much more information in my head and it seems to make sense to me when I type it!
So, my family is me, sister, mum and step dad. My step dad is my sisters real dad though.
So anyway. I was testing as a child. Fought with my sister a lot. I would be the one who would get the blame. There is an 8 year age gap. This would be smacking. Then I wised up to it and would run for it if I knew he was coming - sometimes he'd pull me down the stairs, sometimes he wouldn't catch me. He's protective of my mum. Which is good obviously. If I said something horrible he probably would get me if he over heard me. Once he got me and beat me on my bed and I honestly remember feeling fright. I was probably a tween then. As a teenager I was awful - granted. I was independent and didn't really or need anyone, I thought I knew everything. I used to be in my room all the time and they would put my tea to the top of the stairs and that was fine. If it was me now with my children they wouldn't eat unless it was with the family. Maybe they didn't want the ordeal of an argument. I stopped going away with them around then, England holidays anyway never consisted of me from then on. My mum and sister still go now but I don't get an invite. Not saying like big up me, I should be invited but I would love to be just asked. As I grew older my sister obviously did and would tell him not to hit me. So she saved me a few times. Other times it was spitting in my face though or saying like your lucky your a girl otherwise I'd beat the shit out of you. Those things she couldn't stop. I got a job in a florist at 14, just faffing around at the weekend. I did 8 hours on a Saturday and Sunday so to me I was loaded!!! I saved up money to buy an exercise bike - being a fat knacker. I didn't tell anyone though I just did it. Anyway when he saw it he laughed and I shrugged it off. It was a sitting duck for comments though so I got rid.
Anyway, my mum. So if I told her something had happened when she was not there then she would ask what I had done. If something had been said she'd ask what I'd said to him first to deserve it. I once did tell her how unhappy I was and she just said that without him we would have nothing - he's a millionaire and my real dad isn't - he's a working man. So that's that. Things are strained. We don't really talk. My mum mentioned in passing that he tapped my sons hand and I came down on him like a ton of bricks and he said how stupid I was etc etc and I said it's simple, stop it or don't see him. He's not really left on his own though and if something is said it's picked up on straight away. I don't fuck about, I call a spade a spade and I'll square up to him if it's my children. ALL DAY.
Anyway but my question is, is this normal of the age?? I'm talking 20 years ago. Everyone back in the day was hit weren't they?? Hubby finds all this shocking. He thinks it boils down to a lot of my mum guilt over everything. My regrets of choices in life that I don't want my children to make. The fact I can't hug anyone apart from hubby or the kids and I make it well known. If someone hugs me I'm like an ironing board. It's hubby's reaction playing on my mind though. What does everyone else think? To me it's normal, I was the step child as well that's the other thing
Thanks