No real reason to feel like this..

[HuckleberryFields]

Hi I'm sure many people are feeling similar to me right now, I'm tearful a lot and feeling low, unmotivated and finding it hard to be positive. I get days like this on occasion which I'm sure is normal but this has been going on for a few weeks. I feel guilty because I have a child who is healthy and family nearby who are always there to help me so I shouldn't be feeling like this, I just can't help it. My son sees his dad so I do get the odd break. My boyfriend suffers badly with anxiety and depression and he's been saying a lot how miserable he is and how shit his life is. This has been the case for months but things are particularly bad for the last week. He will occasionally say that he appreciates me and has said that I help him.
It doesn't help that our sex life is much less active than I'd like, which I just take as rejection, however much I try and tell myself it's his mental health.
I can't talk to him because he's really properly low and I don't know what to do.
I'm really sorry to wallow when I know things are so much worse for so many people.

Is anyone feeling similar?

Just because you have good things in your life doesn't mean you arnt allowed to be depressed. Depression doesn't work that way it's not prejudiced and can attack anyone. Given the last 12 months I'm sure a lot of people are naturally going to struggle. That's ok what's not ok is suffering alone, you and your dp are meant to be a team I have severe mental health problems (schizoaffective) but I would be devastated if someone I loved didn't talk to me because of that, plus it makes me feel great that in rl my personal experiences enable me to help family and friends during tough times. It gives me a confidence boost amd makes me feel less worthless, so please confide in your dp.

It also may be useful to call your gp generally the earlier a depressive episode is treated the less medication and easier to treat it is, early intervention is so important and the fact that you feel low enough to come on the mental health board says to me that this is a problem that needs addressing before it gets worse. Then there may be all sorts of complications.

Please don't think you can't be depressed because of good things you have going on in your life because the most perfect person alive can get depression if it's caused by mood changes as that's decided in the brain. It's a chemical depression as opposed to a situational depression.

Plus I bet it's hard looking after a mentally unwell dp so you do not have a perfect life I'm sure that has its challenges.

I'm feeling the same.
Single parent with no support bubble for 2 weeks now as my sister first had COVID and now my mum does (they live together). I've lost my job due to no childcare. Relationship is long distance (150 miles and a ferry)- the relationship feels like it's changed, partner seems distant, would probably say it's because I seem off? Can't seem to verbalise to anyone that I'm not doing overly well apart from on here.
But we will get through it, logically I know this will not last forever and we will have brighter days soon enough.

I hope you feel better soon. It will get better xxx

I could have written your post word for word. I have no advice but I'm feeling exactly the same and I'm in exactly the same situation as you.

Thank you so much for the replies, it really helps. I'm sorry to hear others feel like this too. In a way I want to talk to him but also don't know where to start and just feel guilty putting anything on him when I know he's feeling much worse than me.

@HuckleberryFields I completely understand the guilt. I spent a portion of tonight crying, my 5 year old dd came and mothered me asking me what's wrong, holding my hand, telling me it's okay to cry etc. I put her to bed and had another crying session.
I am so lucky to have such a wonderful LG and the guilt of her seeing me upset weighs greatly.
I also understand how you want to speak to your partner about it and the guilt that entitles too. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to speak to him. Do you think he'd be open to hearing how you feel? X

@crapcrap what a wonderful example you must have set for your daughter for her to know how to look after you so well. Please take some comfort in that. I have cried in front of my son as well though so I know that feeling of guilt also. I think dp would want me to talk to him I just over think a lot and worry. X

@HuckleberryFields thank you very much. I'm very lucky to have her.
Again, I can relate with the overthinking- our minds can be our worst enemy!
I hope you find the strength and courage to speak to your partner.
Be kind to yourself. I know it's easier said than done but you've got this. You can do it and you will get through it x

@crapcrap so much overthinking and guilt! Why do our minds do it to us?! Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are feeling better soon. Roll on Spring x