My friend has a long history of sever mental illness.
This afternoon I got a message from a newish friend of hers saying they were concerned for her.
She was having a manic episode on the phone with this friend and I ended up coordinating my friend's mum and the ambulance to get some emergency help.
Friend is now in hospital and safe.
I've just about stopped shaking from this. I'm very worried about my friend and feel super guilty. Myself and another long term friend missed some tell tale signs she was getting ill. I've been so wrapped up in my own issues I didn't help her. I was supposed to talk to her last week but cancelled last min because I was feeling horrific myself.
I feel so guilty for not speaking to her then.
The newish friend is now also talking like she knows everything and that our concern is unjustified. In this woman's defence she doesn't know what my friend is like when very ill.
This probably makes no sense but I can't sleep. I keep thinking about it and the opportunities I missed. At the same time I know if I'd challenged the delusions my friend would just have ignored any attempt to get in touch.
This is her third hospitalisation. The last one was several months long.
I messaged her to say I was sending love. I know she will likely have her phone taken away when admitted. Her response was clearly that I'm the bad guy but that's expected and is her illness talking not her. She's such a lovely person and this illness is so unfair for her