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Hand hold needed - friend taken into hospital

4 replies

Twizbe · 18/01/2021 22:48

My friend has a long history of sever mental illness.

This afternoon I got a message from a newish friend of hers saying they were concerned for her.

She was having a manic episode on the phone with this friend and I ended up coordinating my friend's mum and the ambulance to get some emergency help.

Friend is now in hospital and safe.

I've just about stopped shaking from this. I'm very worried about my friend and feel super guilty. Myself and another long term friend missed some tell tale signs she was getting ill. I've been so wrapped up in my own issues I didn't help her. I was supposed to talk to her last week but cancelled last min because I was feeling horrific myself.

I feel so guilty for not speaking to her then.

The newish friend is now also talking like she knows everything and that our concern is unjustified. In this woman's defence she doesn't know what my friend is like when very ill.

This probably makes no sense but I can't sleep. I keep thinking about it and the opportunities I missed. At the same time I know if I'd challenged the delusions my friend would just have ignored any attempt to get in touch.

This is her third hospitalisation. The last one was several months long.

I messaged her to say I was sending love. I know she will likely have her phone taken away when admitted. Her response was clearly that I'm the bad guy but that's expected and is her illness talking not her. She's such a lovely person and this illness is so unfair for her

OP posts:
Palavah · 18/01/2021 22:50

So sorry to hear about your friend. It can be so difficult to get our heads around that because we feel even more helpless. Good that she is safe now.

Guilt is a useless emotion ultimately - how can you channel it?

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 18/01/2021 22:53

You can only help others so much. There are times when you simply can't. Would you expect her to feel guilty for not helping you a week ago if you'd needed it considering her situation?

You'll help her as much as you can and for that, you're a great friend. But don't make the mistake that you are responsible for her.

I hope she's feeling better soon.

Nannyamc · 18/01/2021 22:56

Please be kind to yourself
She will be safer in hospital at the moment. She would not be there if she did not need to be.

Twizbe · 18/01/2021 23:04

Thank you. I wish I could go to her but I love a long way away now and covid shit. I know thAt when she's in hospital we're not to really contact her as she needs to quiet the noise. I want to give her a huge hug.

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