Anyone have intrusive thoughts ?

[Inthedarkx]

Has anyone suffered with intrusive thoughts? And then worried or felt guilty rush the carries out the intrusive thought when under times of stress 😢
I've had OCD since childhood and when times get really stressful I have intrusive thoughts and end up thinking I've carried out the intrusive thoughts on my children and feel guilty constantly, obsessing over the intrusive thoughts and what I was doing at the time for the intrusive thought to make sure I didn't do ' the act' constantly thinking I've injured my child, it's like the intrusive thoughts turn into a memory and eats away at me 😢

Would a diary help?

Have you had any help in the past? Have you had any techniques which might help?

I get this when I’m anxious. I have intrusive thoughts that I have been a really bad mother to my youngest son and recall incidents where I’ve had bad days with him that become more and more embellished. I found getting old photo albums out helped me to remind myself that there were lots of good times. I don’t know what triggers the thought and why that focus though

You have to remind yourself that this isn't your fault. You have OCD, and you have to tell yourself your brain is playing tricks on you and you can't help it. The only thing that helps is almost laughing at these thoughts; telling yourself they are ridiculous. Because they are. They wouldn't worry you if you were a bad person, intent on such things. I suggest a book called Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz. It's a good starting block with some good self-help techniques for Pure O, which is what this sounds like. Take care

Yes! Since having my son 3.5 years ago. Hadn't really experienced them severely before that point. Lots of intrusive thoughts surrounding my baby and harming him. Thoughts of harming myself. Very scary and led me to becoming v depressed and unwell. Lots of therapy, in particular ERP which I strongly suggest you look into and read about. Some books that will really help you - The happiness trap, Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts & The mind workout.

Intrusive thoughts ARE normal. Everyone gets them. It's how we respond to them that can cause us to spiral. Let them come and let them go. Thoughts are not facts, they are stories your mind creates. Just like you can imagine a dog getting run over, or that your friend has the perfect marriage, or imagining snogging the face of someone you find attractive. It is all the same. Just thoughts/images/impulses and so on.

Have a look at this.. (this was done on people without mental health illnesses just your typical 'normal' human being.

www.octc.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/ocdonlineappendicesapril20th.pdf

I also have a theory that lack of self love and compassion causes intrusive thoughts to worsen. Try listening to some guided meditations on loving kindness and self compassion. Sarah Blondin is amazing for this, she has lots on the Insight Timer app.

Sending love, it's horrible to experience but it will pass x

Dear @Inthedarkx, A lot of the women I work with have intrusive thoughts and it is often linked to low self-esteem. The thoughts come in many different forms from "am I a bad mother?", "I'm not good enough", "I can't do this", "I'm useless", "I'm worthless" and more. Some work around where these core beliefs about yourself came from and what the unconscious mind is trying to protect you from in generating them can be part of therapy to enable you to develop self-esteem. Self-care (not one a lot of mums feel they have time for) is an essential part of learning to like yourself (you value others enough to care for them, so why not yourself?) And yes, totally agree with the above that guided meditation can be incredibly helpful and is a form of self care. Meditation also helps to develop the brain in healthy ways to help you with resilience and wellbeing, so it is a worth while investment of time. Just ten minutes a day can help, so it doesn't have to be a big time commitment. To be clear, I am not an expert in OCD (although I have treated it in my work as a therapist) but I understand that intrusive thoughts relating to your children can be a symptom. You can do work on the OCD to help with this and there are great practitioners out there who can help you. Good luck and please do feel free to reach out if you would like to chat. xxK

I have very bad intrusive thoughts due to anxiety. I have never been diagnosed with OCD. They tend to take the form of things that are disgusting to me such as paedophilia: What if I'm a paedophile!! Racism, sexism - all things that I find horrendous and don't really think like that. I tend to just acknowledge it's there, tell myself that's it's just anxiety and let it be rather than trying to fight against it.

I do a meditation called leaves on a stream that you could try.

Relax and imagine that you are sitting beside a stream.
What are you thinking? (Doesn't matter what it is. I need to make dinner. Paintwork needs doing. I'm a bad mother etc etc)
Now place that thought on a leaf and watch it slowly drift away down the stream
Do that with the next one and the next one
If you don't have any thoughts then just watch leaves drift down the stream

Another one I do is labelling thoughts
Relax into a meditation pose. (I have a bad back so I lie down)
Close your eyes and feel your body on the floor or cushion
What are you thinking? For example, anxiety, depression, sadness, guilt, shame
Now, label that thought. I am having a feeling of anxiety. I am having a feeling of sadness

I combine the two meditations sometimes and label the thought and then place it on a leaf and let if float away down a stream.

HTH

Me! I’m feeling the exact same. Have been through it before, but this time it’s lingering. Awful thoughts that lead to panic attacks. Completely understand the ‘did I actually do it?’ Horror, but it’s part of the illness.

I am on antidepressants and have just started CBT. Is that something you could look into?

The self-care mentioned above is so true. At my worst I don’t shower or get out of bed. The minute I do those things, I feel a shift in mood. Not a cure, but definitely helpful.

you’re not a bad person. It’s an illness.

Thanks everyone.
I'm just finding it so difficult.

When I'm under stress it is worse!

I try to ignore the thoughts but it's like my kine forces them on me! Like I'm being brainwashed by someone inside my head!

Some months ago, my baby, she was about 13/14 months then, she's 17 months now, was teething really bad, I tried everything to soothe her, medication, cuddles, teething cloths ect and nothing would work, she didn't sleep alll night and was crying all night. I was stressed but then my mind make a thought about just throwing her across the room, this is an evil thought, I don't know why my
Mind would even think this?? Now my Brain has made me believe that I actually did jt and it is actually a memory that it 'hazy' and I don't fully remember doing it but I did it. Then it spirals into even bigger thoughts. How every day I try to relive that night to see if I really did jt, then I feel guilty that I've hurt her, and damaged her! And it goes on and on, if I did anything logically I would know wouldn't I? But my
Mind is making me think I did it. I'm so scared I hurt her but this is the cycle my Brain is constantly going through with my intrusive thoughts.

Your mind is playing tricks on you because you are poorly.

If you’d thrown her against a wall- she would have been hurt. Not a chance did it happen. Look at her now. Bet she’s happy and healthy, yes? You didn’t do it.

Intrusive thoughts hurt because they go against our core values. You love your child and don’t want to hurt her- so your anxious mind will create this thought and hold on tight to it because it gets a reaction.

Have you looked into CBT?

You deserve help and support: you can get better

Yes OP - I had years of this when I was younger. It was absolutely horrible - I had the intrusive thoughts about doing things to harm myself or others and then would go into awful cycles of rumination worrying that this made me a bad person - and that because I'd had the thought maybe that meant I would do those things.
It is possible to get past this. Have you spoken to anyone? It took me years to get help but eventually had some sessions from an OCD specialist - based on CBT and it was a huge turning point.
I agree with @abitfunny and @SaigonSaigon . Remind yourself that intrusive thoughts are totally normal - these thoughts pop into other peoples heads but they don't attach the same significance/trigger the same reaction. Remind yourself that this is not you - it's the OCD mucking about in your brain. I found when I stopped trying to fight the thoughts or worry about what they meant it eased. My counsellor also taught me to use grounding/distraction techniques. I recommend the book Brain Lock too.
I really feel for you as I can imagine how hard it must be when you have a baby.
Do seek support, it really can get better

I know this is an old thread but this resonates with me so much. Mine are so much stronger after a night of very little sleep & stress, it was at its absolute peak during the new born days.
And now being pregnant again is bringing them all back.

There is a supportive group on Facebook about this.
Definitely going to try sertaline after this baby is born, have you tried this? Seeing a counsellor really helped me understand I wasn’t going insane when I initially had them.

Mine were all about me causing harm to my loved ones and I have heard that is really common, but of course it’s a terrible taboo so it’s so difficult to talk openly with anyone about it. You have to find a counsellor who truly understands intrusive thoughts.

There is a book called dropping the baby and other scary thoughts, I was in floods of tears as it was so true and it was like they had taken all my thoughts and put them down on paper.
It’s on Amazon, I even e mailed the authors to thank them as it helped me so much

If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me, I think it’s so important that people with this have a lot of support but because it’s do misunderstood by the NHS services I went years with no support.

So - not do.

Ahh sorry I forgot to say. All counsellors I saw would tell me to acknowledge the thought but not allow it to take over.

On the support group I mentioned a lady on there told me she used to say “thanks but no thanks” to the thoughts when they popped up. I thought it was stupid at first but the more I did it, the thought disappears and I don’t ruminate on it at all. I hope that has in some way helped.

Thank you for posting about this and being so brave in doing so I have had similar thoughts ever since I can remember and went through a bad patch last year and couldn't get out of bed. I was better after taking setraline for 6 months and stopped as I was pregnant although tbh I would have preferred to stay on them. Anyway came off and was great fot the rest of the pregmamcy and the birth usual anxiety but not uncontrollable and no debilitating intrusive thoughts until I went on my sisters hen do and had that sense of panic and rush of a thought and I feel like I'm back to were I was again and it's so exhausting having the intrusive thoughts all day I try to let them pass but it is so difficult. Sending hugs and hope to everyone who goes though this and at least know you are not alone in it there are other people who are experiencing it too xx

@Inthedarkx I don't know if you still read this thread, but I have something that helps me. Imagine your thoughts are like a busy road, you're stood at a bus stop. Stand back, and let the thoughts come and go. When you have a nice thought, get on the bus.

We all have different thoughts, good and bad. I have lots of very negative thoughts, and I do get angry sometimes, but after a while, it goes and you are okay