20 year old SS depression and chronic apathy

[stuckinthemiddlewithyou1]

Diagnosis from psychologist following another academic year of failure. Paralysed by fear of everything and refuses to learn to drive. Apathetic about relationships with his family and can’t go for months without talking to his dad. No concern about tomorrow let alone the future. Lives with his Mom has clearly the lack of energy and motivation is causing problems at home and now had enough which has prompted the therapist intervention. High performing dad which is obviously a pressure on the kid. Doesn’t have a very good relationship with dad and me for multitude of reasons not least this problem which was evident years ago.

What is the long term prognosis. How much of this is in the hands of the kid himself and how much is a life long affliction.

To add. I’ve been in SS life since he was 7 and he has always been aloof and uncommitted to his dad. He lived with us for 4 years and even during that time there seemed little bond between my DH and him. There are obviously a multitude of factors which have resulted in him being the way he is not least his mothers history of MH problems. I just feel like now that we have a depression diagnosis we have a disabled child. Divorce and blended families is pretty shit for all parties involved and it makes helping this kid even harder when he wants little to do with us yet we are expected to be part of the solution.

To be honest op it sounds like you were part of the problem. He lived with you for four years and your observation is that you step done was ‘aloof and uncommitted’ with his dad? Since when is a child responsible for their relationship with their parent?

‘I just feel like now we have a diagnosis of depression we have a disabled child’

Honestly, this isn’t about you.

A child is not responsible at all. But it is completely feasible, which is what I’m saying, that I’m spite of efforts from us my SS and my DH didn’t connect and I feel that today’s diagnosis of apathy was evident back then. Of course if he lived with us I am part of the problem and solution.... it is completely reasonable that in spite of trying and doing the best we could, my SS still had MH issues which are incapacitating his life.