I don’t want to wake up

[Youronlylimitisyourmind]

I don’t want to be here anymore I don’t want to homeschool I don’t want to clean i don’t want to cook I don’t want to be fat and ugly and guilty he has me as his wife i don’t want to worry about everyone and everything I don’t want to talk I just want to not wake up tomorrow.

That’s it.

Problem is I have 4 children and a husband and unless i die in my sleep I’m going to wake up.

Someone tell me please how I feel happiness or actually anything in this life I just don’t get it there’s nothing to be happy about or anything to look forward to, it’s the same shit every day

I don't have any answers but I do know it won't always be like this. This is such a bleak time, by summer we'll be sitting out having picnics and wondering how we ever got through.

Have you spoken to your DH about how you feel?

[Flowers]

Self esteem. Work on your self esteem. Life is much easier when you're not beating yourself up everyday.

Are you able to take a couple of hours to have time to yourself, it might make a difference? Even if it's to sit and watch rubbish on tv?

I'm so sorry OP. Please keep talking here. You're not alone in feeling like this, it's pushing people to the absolute limits. Has anything made you smile today?

I am struggling too, children, married but it just feels relentless sometimes and that I'm really not doing them any favours but I know that my feelings are not well founded and that I am very loved. It's so hard at the moment and difficult to find joy in absolutely anything. Simply things like our puppy discovering there were things moving in the fish tank and watching them cocking his head side to side. Just such a small simple thing but it made us smile on a crappy mundane day. 💐💐

I could've written this

Feel the same OP. So sorry, it's awful. Dragging myself through one day at a time doing bare minimum.