Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Struggling with everything

5 replies

themiserychick · 15/01/2021 06:53

My life is a wreck. My mental health has been on the decline for a while, and I kept hoping it would get better but things just have been getting worse and worse. I'm 40 with 2 kids and I thought life would be better by now, not worse. The big thing right now is that my partner has started transitioning into a woman and I just can't cope with it. I have posted on the trans widows thread about it. He doesn't have a job, and hasn't for the past 4 years, so I was the only one working, part time. The problem with that was my boss was bullying me and others in the workplace, which led to many of us leaving, including me when I finally couldn't take it anymore. I had to go on maternity leave early because of it, and resigned when it was all used up. My pregnancy was difficult, and when LO was born he ended up in the NICU, then the special care nursery for 4 weeks (he's fine now). I have so much anxiety about getting a new job. I was a preschool teacher in a childcare, and I just don't want to go back to that but I have no idea what else to do. My self esteem is almost non existent right now. On top of all that we're living with my parents because the flat we were living in was sold to an owner occupier.

I went to the doctor last year for a mental health plan, and I chose not to go back on antidepressants. I got a referral to see a therapist, and I thought it would take a couple of weeks to get an appointment. I called last week only to discover that there was 10 people on the waiting list before me. That's when I broke down on the phone to the receptionist. Luckily I was called back 10 minutes later by intake who reassessed me and I have an appointment in 2 weeks now. I'm just so tired of fighting and worrying and I want it all to end.

OP posts:
Sohardtochooseausername · 15/01/2021 07:01

Hello. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. There are lots of things going on for you and it’s no wonder you are struggling with it all.

I’m glad you have got some help coming - hopefully the talking therapy can help you make sense of everything.

I had a bit of a crisis in November when everything got on top of me and found a therapist through my workplace wellbeing scheme. Having someone to download everything to has really taken a weight off me. I don’t feel so confused about what to focus on. I hope therapy can help you get some clarity.

It’s also really helpful to remember - so much of what we are going through is temporary. It’s worth hanging in there and seeing how different things feel in the spring. Meanwhile try and find things to enjoy in the moment. Hugs with your kids. Fresh air on your face. Listening to your favourite tunes. Even a second of pleasure can remind you that life is not all bad.

I hope you feel better soon.

themiserychick · 15/01/2021 09:41

Thanks, I'm hoping therapy will help, at least I can unload everything to someone who won't judge me or make me feel guilty for my actions and feelings.

OP posts:
Orf1abc · 15/01/2021 09:47

Are you sure the appt in two weeks isn't just an initial assessment? I'm sorry to say it's very unusual to get counselling on the NHS so quickly. It's more likely to be an initial chat, or at best a few sessions of CBT. Can you afford to get help privately?

Why are you not taking antidepressants? It's your choice, and they don't cure anything, but they can be a sticking plaster that gives you the space to start to get better.

themiserychick · 15/01/2021 10:26

I'm in Australia, so things work differently here. The mental health plan entitles you to 10 or 12 (I think, things have changed since covid) sessions with a therapist which are subsidised by Medicare or bulk billed. You see that therapist for as long as you want or need, but have to go back to the doctor if you need to extend the plan for more sessions.

OP posts:
Namenic · 15/01/2021 10:43

I’m so sorry about things. I hope your parents are supportive. It sounds great that your little one has thrived too. It may be part of PND and anti-depressants could help (though see your GP). Take one step at a time.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page