My life is a wreck. My mental health has been on the decline for a while, and I kept hoping it would get better but things just have been getting worse and worse. I'm 40 with 2 kids and I thought life would be better by now, not worse. The big thing right now is that my partner has started transitioning into a woman and I just can't cope with it. I have posted on the trans widows thread about it. He doesn't have a job, and hasn't for the past 4 years, so I was the only one working, part time. The problem with that was my boss was bullying me and others in the workplace, which led to many of us leaving, including me when I finally couldn't take it anymore. I had to go on maternity leave early because of it, and resigned when it was all used up. My pregnancy was difficult, and when LO was born he ended up in the NICU, then the special care nursery for 4 weeks (he's fine now). I have so much anxiety about getting a new job. I was a preschool teacher in a childcare, and I just don't want to go back to that but I have no idea what else to do. My self esteem is almost non existent right now. On top of all that we're living with my parents because the flat we were living in was sold to an owner occupier.
I went to the doctor last year for a mental health plan, and I chose not to go back on antidepressants. I got a referral to see a therapist, and I thought it would take a couple of weeks to get an appointment. I called last week only to discover that there was 10 people on the waiting list before me. That's when I broke down on the phone to the receptionist. Luckily I was called back 10 minutes later by intake who reassessed me and I have an appointment in 2 weeks now. I'm just so tired of fighting and worrying and I want it all to end.