I want to hurt myself but I am also scared of hurting myself

[ToadsThePeanutButterSnob]

I don't know what this means.

I keep getting thoughts about walking down to the bridge near me and jumping off but at the same time I don't want to and I am scared that I am having these thoughts.

I went to the shop for some stuff just before and there was a member of staff restocking in front of where I wanted to be and I couldn't even say excuse me to get to it I just walked around for a bit like an idiot until he moved and I could get to it .

Do you have a therapist or counsellor you could talk to? I'm allowed to call mine if I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts and he is much less likely to send me to A&E than my GP is.

If not, maybe a helpline?

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Do you have a therapist or counsellor you could talk to? I'm allowed to call mine if I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts and he is much less likely to send me to A&E than my GP is.

If not, maybe a helpline?

Not at the moment, no. I have seen several (both NHS and private) at various points over the years though but then I will feel better and stop and then my mental health declines again. I am not sure if that means I am just supposed to speak to one non stop for the rest of my life.

Maybe you need a different type of therapy or medication. I think the point of it is you're meant to learn to cope alone, not stay in therapy forever. If difficult situations arise maybe you'd need another period of therapy, but I think if you're needing therapy weekly for the rest of your life it means something is wrong with your daily setup for coping with your condition. I suggest discussing it with your next therapist.

Don't worry about what happened in the shop. It doesn't sound too bad, you bought what you wanted so it was a successful trip, it doesn't matter if you went about things differently to how other people might have.

Have you got a diagnosis @ToadsThePeanutButterSnob ?

I have tried to make an appointment but by the time I get through all the appointments are gone 😫.

I have self referred online though for counselling.

It's hard to be assertive when you feel unwell.Ring the surgery,tell them you have thoughts of self harm and you need a telephone consultation today.