I am really struggling at the moment with my anxiety and depression. I have just started some CBT through my local authority over the phone - it's ok, but this isn't the first time I have sought help and found it extremely underwhelming. I have then given up in the past as I just don't want to talk to them, which ends up actually making me feel much worse than if I hadn't bothered. I feel like everyone says 'speak to someone', 'reach out for support' blah blah but it usually doesn't actually help anything at all and I feel more hopeless.
I have had one really good therapist in the past through my employer scheme, however I moved so she is no longer an option. I have a great coach I use for professional development but she is very business-focused and doesn't deal with personal issues and is not a therapist/counsellor. I can talk to my DH to a point and he tries his best but I can't tell him everything I feel and I am also conscious not to worry him. None of my friends I have that type of relationship with. Talking to my mum generally ends badly as, although well-intentioned, she starts preaching to me as to what I should and shouldn't do based on no knowledge and through her own lens, which I find very hard to swallow and get angry as she certainly didn't apply any of her own nuggets of wisdom when I was a child and was pretty awful a lot of the time TBH. Current situation of not being able to do F2F really doesn't help as I struggle to open up on the phone or via video call.
Sorry I am rambling - so...has anyone found a really good therapist who is an asset to your life and who you actually want to talk to? Where/how did you find them? How do your sessions work? I don't mind paying if it actually works and they are any good. Thanks in advance