Exhausted with DH episodes

[LawnFever]

I know I probably sound heartless but I’m so exhausted with DHs mental health episodes, it’s never ending, and it’s dragging me down too.

He’s spoken to the GP and has meds but always forgets to get a new prescription and probably every 6/8 weeks he spirals. He stops sleeping, stops eating, becomes incoherent, almost like Tourette’s shouting out and agitated/jumpy. I can’t get him to do anything.

In between he gets back to normal, and it’s like he just goes up and up until he hits a wall then this happens.

I’m going to tell him he needs to speak to the GP again, I’m thinking now it could be bi polar with the ups and downs but I can’t imagine this is our marriage forever, waiting for the next time over & over.

As I said I understand I probably sound heartless but I’ve been living with it for years, being supportive, going with him to the GP and I’m just spending the fourth night in the spare room because he’s banging around and I can’t sleep near him

Is there anything I can do except suggest the GP?

You don’t sound heartless, it sounds like a very hard situation you are in. I think the gp is a good starting point, and maybe they have a solution for people who forget to get their new prescription - it should be automated and sent to your nearest pharmacy unless it needs to be reviewed each time.

Does he want to help himself?
You shouldn’t have to live like this, exhausted and anxious. The world doesn’t revolve around him, your feelings and mental health matter just as much as his.
He should be actively trying to get better.

If this is an issue if he is ok when he is taking his meds but then forgets to get the prescription filled and becomes unwell through not taking his medication, I’m genuinely struggling to understand why you would go to the GP rather than organise to monitor his medications and get prescriptions filled for him yourself? Unless he won’t let you do this, surely this is the simplest solution? As it is impacting so heavily on both of your lives, but he does take his medication when he has it, this seems a no brainer.

@OTannenbaum

If this is an issue if he is ok when he is taking his meds but then forgets to get the prescription filled and becomes unwell through not taking his medication, I’m genuinely struggling to understand why you would go to the GP rather than organise to monitor his medications and get prescriptions filled for him yourself? Unless he won’t let you do this, surely this is the simplest solution? As it is impacting so heavily on both of your lives, but he does take his medication when he has it, this seems a no brainer.

I don’t know when it’s due to run out, why should I treat him like a child and take responsibility for ordering his medication?

I’m not going to take that on, he’s a grown man sorry but no I already ask if he’s taken them etc but I can’t reorder a prescription for him anyway, I don’t think the GP will even allow that

Op you can have them sent on repeat direct to his pharmacy.

It sounds like a small thing that he's struggling with, if you can support him to arrange this then it will make both your lives a lot easier.

Your local pharmacy should be able to set up an automatic prescription request for him with the GP and text him to collect it. It's very normal to do this.

In terms of everything you've said YANBU, except on one point - helping him manage his medication is clearly something he needs and which would positively impact you both.

You could do this in a practical way rather then a mothering way - together you could set up an automatic reminder on both of your phones and set up the automatic refill of the medication with the pharmacist etc - it doesn't sound like he has any issue with taking it day to day so you don't need to stand over him and check he's taking it or that his behaviour is poor when he's medicated so it would make your life better as well as his, no?

OP. You right it's not up to you to make sure he is being an adult and take his medicine. This is his responsibility. But you need to think hard about what YOU want.

Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life.

Do you have any children, do you want them to have a dad like your husband. If you do are putting his needs above them.

Unfortunately you may have to walk away from your DH.

A. because you need to put yourself first.
B. It may be the only way to get your husband to take responsibility for his actions and start looking after his own mental health.

I’ll talk to him about the repeat prescription, I don’t really know why that’s not already set up