Anyone else struggling going back to zoom counselling?

[Honestadviceneeded]

Just that really. I know it’s better than nothing but I just feel really disconnected when sessions aren’t in person.

Posted too soon.

Was wondering if anyone had tips to make it feel better.

Following with interest as I am due to start online counselling soon. I dislike video calls, so I am apprehensive about it, though feeling grateful to have the opportunity. I wondered about turning off the camera - I've had telephone counselling before (though not from home) which was ok.

I've skimmed through these tips from BACP which may be useful.

www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2020/9-june-online-counselling-how-to-make-the-most-out-of-a-session-with-your-therapist/

It says that clients have felt more relaxed and confident in their own familiar surroundings. However, from previous experience I feel like 'stepping in to the counsellor's area' and away from normal surroundings is a benefit.

The only plus I can see is that it is very icy out there and I am terrified of winter driving, so if it was in person I'd have to drive there.

I don't like it either, it's amazing how much is missing when you're not in the same room. It helps to talk about it to your counsellor and to ask for what you need. For example, I like it when my therapist looks at the camera to give the impression of eye-contact.

I agree, talk to your counsellor about it. I think there is a feeling that its second rate but my personal experience is just that it's different rather than better or worse.

@Greatmusic I just read that info - it’s good.
I had online sessions last time and what I really struggled with was not having the time between finishing the session and having to go back to ‘normal life’. I need the journey time and space. I also feel like discussing the issues I have in my house means I can’t ‘leave them there’. It helped me to have a separate space to discuss things.
My counsellor is really good and I think the suggestion of telling her my concerns is good becomes she will absolutely do what she can to make it work for me. She already knows how I feel about it really after last time we moved away from online as soon as we were able.

I don’t want to put others off though. It might work perfectly for some people. Different strokes for different folks.

Just ready for this whole thing to be over.

Make the space between Zoom Therapy and Normal Life. I always am encouraged to list the next bits of the day - and I keep some routine. Ie. I always went for a walk after face-to-face therapy, I still do that now.

I also switch between phone and zoom if I am feeling "zoomed out".

To be honest, I am still allowed face-to-face appointments so possibly not the best to comment (I chose not to the two times this week though because of the risk of public transport).

@Peachered I wish I had the ability to to that.
I have two children and as soon as I walk out of the room I’m back in parent mode. My appointments need to be in the. Evening so my husband can look after them and he knows how long my appointments are. It’s time to start putting kids to bed as soon as it’s over. I’m straight out of the session and hit the ground running.

@Honestadviceneeded I also struggle without the journey home to normal life. Could your husband not put the kids to bed so you can have a short walk after? Alternatively could you try doing the calls on your phone while you walk (somewhere private out of earshot of others).

I had telephone counselling this summer and chose to go for a walk and sit in the middle of a field when I spoke to the counsellor. It helped to be in a different space and have a walk back to the house.

@Honestadviceneeded well what would your husband do if you had face to face appointments? You would have travel time to get back from them...

@Peachered my appointments in person were when the kids were at school so during the day. Kids aren’t at school now.

@Lookatthat my appointment will finish at 8pm so it’s dark...I could but I’m not sure how safe I’d feel.
I’m wondering about asking him for an extra 10 minutes and maybe doing a quick yoga or meditation before going back out.
I’d feel bad him putting the kids to bed alone as they would know I was in the house. I like putting them to bed. If I can get my head into the right space to do it then maybe that would make it easier.

Would delaying bed time by ten - fifteen minutes be a huge issue - maybe DH reads an extra story and then you can pop in for the final bit and good night.

I mean, he would do it sometimes in normal circumstances if you were out with friends or working late etc.

@Honestadviceneeded 10 minutes of yoga sounds like a great idea, and then bedtime is only being delayed a little so you should hopefully feel in a better place to adjust back in to your routine.

I saw today that Mind are running a survey about people's experiences of receiving counselling online or by phone and thought I'd post it here in case any of you want to fill it in. Link to the survey is at the end of this blog post

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/i-found-online-mental-health-support-challenging/