Anyone else feel like this?

[Surfdayssun]

I’m not really sure on the purpose of this post but I opened up to the health visitor today when she asked if I was ok and I was honest and said no.
This is DC2 and I never felt like this with DC1 so am assuming it’s the lockdowns that has partly caused it.
I feel bad because I have nothing to feel down about but I just feel completely exhausted but can’t sleep, sad and almost detached from things.

My Health visitor is lovely!! She got me to fill out a questionnaire and made a referral to speak to someone and they called this afternoon but I couldn’t bring my self to speak to anyone.

I know I should have said something sooner, I know it won’t go away if I ignore it but I just can’t bring my self to speak to anyone, if anything I just want to be left alone.
Has anyone else experienced this?

Hey, totally understandable that you would be reluctant to open up about how you've been feeling. Do you feel like you could manage a conversation with the person who tried calling you today to find out what support they can offer you? Or now that you've recognised that you're not feeling yourself can you talk to a friend or partner?

I was very isolated (for different reasons) when my daughter was born and it was tough going.

Thanks for replying that means a lot.
I just feel a bit daft like what have I got to feel so down about, I have a great family, kids are fab, supportive DH and a job to go back to. It feels ridiculous that I would even feel down.
I’m not sure, the health visitor was talking about the options and with my score she said it wouldn’t be sensible to just leave it and I know she’s is right but just feel like the phone rang yesterday and I panicked.
It feels like I have lost the ability to know what to do to make things better. I know I should have spoke up sooner, I know the health visitor wouldn’t have judged me, I know it won’t just go away but in my head it just doesn’t make sense to talk to anyone but what exactly can they say that the health visitor hasn’t to make things better.

Sorry that you're not feeling great. Your health visitor sounds great but she isn't a mental health practitioner. If you can open up just a little bit then maybe you can get some help with how you feel. Maybe if you write down a few things that you have been thinking and feeling or things that are not going well. And then if you do arrange to speak to someone you can have a few things ready to say in case you freeze.

Thanks @MajesticWhine.
Yes I wouldn’t want to dump my feelings onto her either but she is going to continue to come see us more often which is nice because that does give me that regular contact with the same person who understands.
Writing things down is a good idea too so I’ll give that a go. Just not sure I feel up to talking to anyone.

Hey @Surfdayssun I'm glad your health visitor will be able to see you more often.

Unfortunately we can't rationalise our way out of our feelings (or at least I can't, I've tried 😂). But maybe just having an opportunity to talk will be helpful even if you don't think there is anything that anyone can say that will make a difference. Even if life looks ok on the outside we can still find ourselves struggling with our emotions and not feeling heard.

I felt like that after mine. If it is any comfort it does go. I hope you feel better soon.

@rainbowninja I just hope she doesn’t think I’m dumping my feelings on her when it’s not her job. Is the Heath visitors role also to support mums too or am I causing her more work?
You’re right I really can’t rationalise my feelings at all, the whole thing just doesn’t make sense in my head.

@SooWoo56 Thankyou for your reply too. That’s good to know it goes away. I’m almost hoping ignoring it and it will go away but I think in reality I think it will only get worse unless I do something.

Definitely lost my appetite the last few days too 😩

You wouldn't beat yourself up this way for feeling physically unwell, nor would you think twice about seeking help to get better, would you?

Depression isn't rational, so stop trying to rationalise it. It doesn't care how good your life is, it isn't anyone's fault. It isn't your fault. It isn't something to feel shameful about.

Be kind to yourself, accept the help that is being offered to you and start the process of getting better.

Best wishes x

@Kimblebee19 that’s such a good way of thinking about it. Your so right but I need to convince my self that. I would never and have never judged other people with any kind of mental health problems yet I seem to be struggling yet beating my self up about it all. I got the letter though to say the health visitor had referred me to speak to someone about it but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk.

Do you know who you've been referred to? Is it counselling/therapy?

It's ok to let them know that you don't know if you're ready to talk and for you to take your time finding out what sort of support you're being offered and whether it's what you want.