don't know how to cope anymore

[dizzy25]

New here, always read threads but created an account to post this. Apologies if this is long. Not sure what I'm really looking for perhaps opinions/ advice

I suffer very badly with my mental health. Always have

in my teens I went through an eating disorder before developing anxiety & social anxiety. Now mid 20's and I have anxiety & depression (self diagnosed)

Today I read a thread that got me thinking and it was kind of a light bulb moment that maybe I have inattentive ADD which causes the depression as I do relate to a lot of the symptoms but I'm not sure tbh.

I also can be obsessive/ compulsive and just feel like I have a mix of mental health problems that have been going on so long that I just don't know how to cope anymore

On the outside people would have no idea there is anything wrong with me. I'm functioning - when I need to be e.g can hold down a job, appear normal when I meet people and I go to university although struggle very badly with it and my attendance is awful

but on the inside I just have so many issues and I feel like i'm missing out on life

• I have extremely low self esteem and self worth
• i'm very anxious and constant negative thinking
• I have no desire to do anything at all - I spend days on end in bed and the thought of getting up and doing the most mundane task fills me with some kind of dread - I put everything off until last minute

it's hard mustering up the energy to do daily things (washing, cleaning) it's taken me 3 days this week to clean my house and there's stuff everywhere . Occasionally I will have a few days where I get organised and sort everything out but always fall back into my patterns

• Always in my own head / organising how to 'sort my life out' planning etc waking up like todays the day i sort everything out but get depressed 10 minutes later and spend all day in bed
• compulsive (online shopping etc to make myself feel better)
• feel hopeless in general i never want to do anything / go anywhere i basically spend all of my free time in bed watching tv and scrolling social media

The trouble is I want so much to change my life and I have big plans for what I want to do in life but it feels like there is just a barrier i physically can't do anything and i just don't know what to do anymore

Does anybody else feel like this? have any advice? thank you

@dizzy25

dont give up - the eating disorder is a raction to the crumbling feeling inside,

i understand relate to all you have written , the only advice i can give you is dont give up , evern on a bad day when i have been in bed and cried a lot i always try even if it is a small thing

the seeming normal outside and dying on the inside is very relatabalble for me , i sometimes feeel that the world is a whizz and cant keep up, noises and converstaions and people can be scary to me and reading social situations a nightmare

you are so worthy and even if you dont feel so - you are

i do a yoga chanel on you tube called yoga with adrianne she has free 30 day challenges

things are tougher right now and more magnified in lockdown - but i promise life will get better and if not better more managable

please try and know you are important and watch ted talk vids on youtube too - you are not alone

try not to be too hard on yourself you did great reaching out x

You sound very similar to me.

Have you considered an ASD assessment?

@Sarahandduck18 im having one online on the 6th im a little scared but hopeful incase i can get the correct help

i have been backand forward to mental health teams for years and always had the symptoms of my behaviors put down to depression

maybe theres light

big hugs to both

As a pp said, everything will be magnified during another lockdown. You’ve been incredibly articulate and explained everything very well. You’ve had and probably will have a lot of helpful advice here but you really do need to seek out medical advice, are you registered with a gp and if you are are they sympathetic? A decent gp will absolutely listen to you, and more importantly set you on the path for some help. I know in some areas mh services are sorely lacking but you really seem to need to get the ball rolling. Good luck op

@Jerry00 thank you I will have a look at it

@leeobeeleeobee thank you for the kind words, sometimes i try meditation and I also listen to a lot of positive style podcasts and ted talks which all resonate with me but very hard to put into practice - I usually feel better and make some changes when I put in the effort but usually revert back to old patterns of behaviour - and lockdown is obviously just magnifying my issues x

@Sarahandduck18
at first look I feel I relate more to the symptoms of inattentive ADD but I have looked at ASD and possibly could be on the mild spectrum, I do plan do go to my gp

@Phoenix76 I recently moved so am planning on registering with a gp tomorrow and finally asking for help/ being assessed. I've always held back due to thinking I can sort everything out myself and that maybe its just my personality, also I'm not sure I want to be thrown on medication as I fear it would make me worse. Thank you

@dizzy25 the most important thing to remember is that its not just

i use that term a lot just lockdown
just my period just money worries and try and excuse and quite often blame myself for how im feeling and this leads to a cycle of negative thoughts that have very hard days and the cycle is vicious

its never just

please try and find the courage to call the gp one of the problems i have is knowing i should do something and wanting to but for some reason just cant sem to

adult mental health services can be slow - and im sugesting just taking that first step as you have here tonight and just call the gp and ask for an appoitment to discuss - and it wont be just a call it will be a big step

you keep going

@Sarahandduck18
you too us procastantors put things of a lot and it seems a big deal in our head and we get angry at ourselves for not JUST being able to do what others do , but slowly it can cange

@Phoenix76

you give sound advice and its good of you to give your time

good luck all and big hugs

Hey, I was diagnosed with innatentive add and sound a lot like you! I've joined a really good group on fb uk women with adhd. Might be worth having a look! I've found out so many things I do are actually very adhd typical. Like, things I didn't even know were a thing 😂 it had made me feel a lot better anyway! Xx

@bananarama79 I've actually deleted my facebook trying to stop with social media as it makes me feel worse! can't seem to separate myself from instagram though I think realising this helps though it's important to understand the behaviours in order to change them :) x