What do i do

[Workingmummyy]

Ive been on and off anti depressants for the past few years. I hate being on them as my mum is a lifer and as awful as it sounds i just dont want to end up like that.

Im struggling big time.

I feel shit about everything. My parenting. My anger. My lack of drive to do ANYTHING. My gross weight.

Do i go back on them?

I have counselling once a week and it is ok but doesn't really change anything.

Im a single parent, I WFH and have my dd is home too as no school due to lockdown, she is 7, a good girl looks after herself pretty much and i see other mums with more than one, and working more hours than i do and i just feel like wtf is wrong with me.

I want to slap myself and say get on with it. But i cant. I just want to get into bed and watch films to escape.

:( Even feel bad for posting this, like waaaa poor me! So self indulgent.

@Workingmummyy Didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment. Perhaps a starting point would be to contact your gp for a chat? Has medication helped you before? Don't beat yourself up for needing help. Life's hard enough, extra specially so at the moment. Have you formed a support bubble with anyone?

Could you set some new goals in your counselling sessions to help you get a bit more from it?

Needing help isn't self indulgent.

Please don't feel bad for posting, you did exactly the right thing - writing it down and getting it out there is the first step. Do you think you could talk to your counsellor about this? Sometimes medication and counselling together can be helpful but it sounds like you have some worries that you will need to talk through before making that decision. You're not being self-indulgent. All the best

I've literally just started taking ADs (and I mean literally - 5 hours ago) after struggling for years for the same reason. I felt awful for needing something to make me feel normal, my mum has been on them for years and I didn't want to be like that.

But then I thought you know what; she has a better quality of life with them than i do without them.

I'm fed up of breathing but not living.

I think you have to accept that taking medication is not failing, rather a necessary treatment for an illness.

Although it's a cliche thing to say, you would never refuse treatment for a physical illness like diabetes, where your blood sugar is too high - so why would you refuse a different treatment that could fix your brain chemistry? If you're feeling this way due to low serotonin, that's absolutely a physical problem that can be treated!