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Intrusive thoughts now feeling low

8 replies

Flowers245 · 04/01/2021 10:13

Hi, I’ve posted before regarding having an intrusive thought that my baby was swapped 5 days after giving birth. I feel like I had the thought and I’ve panicked about it for 7 weeks to the point where I cry all the time, look at pictures of him all the time to cross reference, speak to a therapist once a week and constantly Google how to over come this. Since then (last few days) I think I’ve realised this is nonsense and he hasn’t been swapped although I definitely still have moments of panic and my brain trying to tell me he has. I’ve spoken to my gp who has said see how I get on with the therapist but I don’t think she is helping much. Sometimes I feel worse after my session like I’ve got no where. I look at my son and feel so guilty for having this thought that I cry a lot, I feel like I’ve let him down. I go to bed every night in the hope that tomorrow I will feel better in myself. I am incredibly lucky to have him and a lovely husband and I feel like I should be jumping with happiness. I guess I am trying to ask do you think it’s just guilt of me feeling like this for the past few weeks, I feel like I’ve wasted those special weeks of bonding when I’ve been obsessed about a thought that most likely is crazy! Do you think I can move on from this or is it hormones unbalanced? Feeling very down a lot of the time (guilt/cross) but have moments of I can do this, things have to get better. Sorry to waffle and I know people have a lot bigger issues than me. Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:
Mammy1981 · 10/01/2021 16:03

Hi. It’s great that you have support with this. You said it in your thread. Your son. Our mind can make us think strange things. Trust me. I do it all the time. I’m off work with anxiety and convinced myself I’m going to loose everything. To the point where I’m panicking all the time. Ask your doctor to maybe put you on medication as they can help with intrusive thoughts and calm you down. Sorry you’re going through this. Things will improve you just need a little support. Xx

Mammy1981 · 10/01/2021 16:04

And you can definitely move on from this 100% x

HotSauceCommittee · 10/01/2021 16:08

I did all this when my first son was born. My intrusive thoughts were that it could feel another baby kicking inside me about six weeks after DS1 was born and then imagining firing a bolt gun into my head. I was going bonkers and I couldn't justify why. This is irrational but very common and can be sorted.
We had no money worries, he was an easy going baby after the first few months, my husband was very supportive and would do anything for us, if not bewildered at my mental turn about.
Please go to the GP and tell them everything so that you can get this sorted and have a nice, calm time with your baby.

Someone1987 · 10/01/2021 20:58

What sort of therapy are you having?

thebearandthemare · 10/01/2021 21:13

Bless you, you sound exhausted by it. My viewpoint is that it’s hormones, something hasn’t quite settled after everything going on with pregnancy and birth and it spirals. The good thing is that you’re aware it isn’t ‘right’. I wish I had been able to see that after the birth of my LO. Speak to your GP again and push for more help. I know people have different feelings around this but it may be that some medication could help.

rumandbiscuits · 10/01/2021 21:45

Things will definitely get better. I had PND after having my little girl and people would say to me 'you won't feel like this forever, you will get better' and I could never believe them. But they were right. Do you take any medication? It already sounds like you are improving. It's a slow recovery but it's good you have a good support network and are talking to people and reaching out for help. Our minds are crazy things that seem hard to manage sometimes. I read once that pregnancy hormones don't usually start to level out until around 4 months after giving birth. Hope you start to feel better soon Thanks

candle18 · 11/01/2021 00:26

You can get better. What type of therapy are you doing? I got a book from Amazon ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’ and it seems quite good. The main theme is not trying to stop the thoughts or push them away, but accepting that they are only thoughts that everyone has at times but they have become stuck. What the thought is about is irrelevant, the distress is how we react to the thoughts so it suggests acknowledging them and accepting them as not needing any urgent action and carrying on with your day.
Easier said than done but makes sense.

Stardust123 · 15/01/2021 14:57

Have a look at Paul David's, Anxiety No More website and if you can get the book. It's the best anxiety I have ever had, and there is a lot of nonsense advice on anxiety in my opinion. He tells us why we get these thoughts, YOU ARE NORMAL hunny, and don't believe that you aren't ... with love xx

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