What will happen if I tell my GP I'm feeling suicidal?

[Changer123]

Just that really. As a backstory to give context I was having treatment for PND and psychosis in 2019, and in early 2020 was discharged into a peer support group. Before it really started the first lockdown started and I was then sort of just left to get on with it, while homeschooling three kids.
Since then I've had periods of Insomnia, panic attacks and my hair falling out from stress. I've tried speaking to my GP and they arent really interested, they prescribed sleeping tablets for a while but wouldn't see me face to face. I've reached a point where I'm just exhausted of struggling. I can barely interact with my kids except on a basic level I'm so low, and I feel so guilty because of this. They deserve better, better than what I can give them.

I want to phone my GP and tell them but what will happen??

They'll likely ask questions to try to find out whether you're "just" feeling and thinking like this, or are at a high risk to act on it. So they'll ask if you have actual plans, the means to go about those plans etc. If they decide you're not at immediate risk, the most that will likely happen is they might offer a referral to some talking therapy and/or offer to change or increase meds, depending what you wish yourself, and offer another appointment sometime soon to see how things are working out.

As said above, when I told my Gp this they asked several questions to determine whether I was at risk of acting on it. Then they wrote a prescription for antidepressants, referred me for cbt and made an appointment for a weeks time.

It can and will get better Op and a good Gp who listens is worth their weight in gold.

In my case they just printed out something from a website and upped my medication. I teared it up right there in front of him. I eventually got better but would never go again to a GP is feeling suicidal.

In my case (fifteen years ago now) they did a referral for some talking therapy who never bothered to contact me. I did act on it but it didn't work.

Risk assessment and referral to the community mental health team if needed. Otherwise medication review, discuss therapy options and book a follow up appointment.

Please do tell them OP. It sounds like you want help as you're posting on here. Things can get better. They want to help.

You can also speak to the Samaritans if you want to talk xx

As to what they would do if they decided you are at an immediate risk, I have no idea. I have told one in the past that I had both the means and the plans and a time decided and all that, but that did not trigger anything further than a referral for an assessment, which resulted in nothing. (I mean, I'm still alive and all, so obviously they were right and my plans weren't as serious as I thought at the time they were, so yay?)

Either way, it would be very unlikely that anything immediate would happen to you if tell your GP. You would really have to be very unwell for them to, for example, want to try to hospitalise you.

I'm very sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you have a GP who will at least listen and be kind and try to help.

So sorry you're feeling this way OP it sounds like you have a huge amount on your plate, it is totally understandable that you would be struggling hugely.

I'm sorry your GP hasn't seen you in person through this. Do give them a call and let them know how you are really feeling, they should provide significant support as a priority and hopefully you can start to get more well really soon.

Do you have a decent support network in person? You've mentioned your children but I'm not sure if you have a partner. Do reach out to a trusted friend or family member and let them know how you're feeling. It's really important to have that support too and you won't freak them out by vocalising suicidal thoughts, it's a scary thought to have but so many people go through them, you are not alone.

Sending a virtual hand hold.

When I had an earlier episode of severe mental health I was assigned a CPN who turned up on my doorstep 24 hrs after referral. No idea how that works in Covid times though with not just social distancing but stretched resources.

They will ask you to do a mental health questionnaire, which will be a bit like this:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mood-self-assessment/

They will likely offer you antidepressants, talking therapy or a combination of the two. They will probably give you the number for a helpline such as the Samaritans in the meantime as the NHS talking therapies usually have a long waiting list. They may recommend some other places you could get counselling faster for a small fee depending on your income.

If your score on the mental health assessment indicates that you are at immediate risk of harm/ suicide then they may fast track you for some support. You'd likely get 6-10 sessions with a counsellor.

They may also look into further diagnoses if you feel there is something more deeply wrong with your mental health (you need to be honest and tell them how you are really feeling).

Samaritans are on 116 123 and are really good to talk to if you're struggling right now.

I did this about four months ago, I was offered Sertraline straight away and it has really helped, not a cure mind you but I spiral a lot less now, maybe once a week instead of daily.

I guess every GP is different, I didn't have a questionnaire or get offered any kind of therapy or got referred anywhere, I was advise to call emergency services if I suddenly had intent to kill myself instead of just thoughts though.

I had this conversation with my gp at the end of the first lockdown. It was over the phone. She was very sympathetic, asked questions. She wanted to make sure myself and the kids were safe for the immediate future, gave me a perscription for anti depressants and arranged to call me again next day, and then regularly until I was responding to the medication (which worked quickly and with minimal side effects in my case). Please do tell them, they will have seen a lot of it this year and they can help. Otherwise call samaritans or contact mind, there is help out there.

I think you need to speak to a different doctor. I have much milder symptoms to yours and my GP was very helpful

OP in my area people can self refer to mental health team. I would go down that road contact crisis team or first response they are called here. You can phone or email them usually. They triarge people and should take some action within 24 hours. They generally aren't doing face to face but do video/ zoom and telephone support.
Also look at any mental health support lines run by charities, there are often ones for supporting parents.

Please don’t do it. My mother did it when I was four and I’m still utterly bereft. Your children will not be better off without you. Please find the strength to find the help you need even though it will probably be very hard. You will be glad in ten years time to still be here and be part of their lives.
Sending a handhold.

Hello OP - we're so sorry you're feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly

I would also speak to the school in the event they are closing again and see if you can get support that way/place for vulnerable kids.

Family Action has a support line too, Family Line which offers short term counselling, practical and emotional support and signposting to any local organisations to you who might be able to help. You can text or email if you don't want to talk but the number is 0808 802 6666

I spoke to my GP recently as I was feeling very depressed during the second lockdown and having similar thoughts. I told them I wasn’t interested in AD (having prior experience of how dependency-forming they can be) and was aware the waiting list for counselling is something like 8 months. I have a back injury so am struggling with exercise too (which usually works very well).

He asked me to follow some guided meditation videos – many available on YouTube – each day and we agreed a date he would call back to check how I was doing. I think a GP would only intervene if you indicated you had real plans to end your life (rather than suicidal ideation).

The meditation videos were helpful and I think also just reaching out and making someone aware of how you’re feeling is a really good idea because they are there to help. Let us know how you get on OP

How are you doing @Changer123? Xxx

Not relevant to your question per se, but to add my two cents my mum was suffering with domestic abuse, alcoholism and depression due to the abuse which I frequently saw as a child. She committed suicide when I was 13- in the letter she wrote it is best for the kids (me and brother). She really thought that her as a mother was so terrible and damaging, that she needed to die to let us be free of her issues. In other words she felt like a bad mum too. Some may argue she was, personally I feel she was in a horror movie she could feel no escape from. All I can say is, I would rather have had my mum depressed, drinking, and watching violence, than no mum at all and all the horrific trauma that came after she was gone and I was an easy target for abuse. She really thought it would be better for us. In reality her taking her life ruined ours. I’m not preaching at you by the way. I guess just a long way of saying that giving your kids less love and affection doesn’t make you bad, or any kind of guilty “worthless mother” feelings that I suspect you may feel right now. They will love you they are your kids.

Try not to let thoughts like this creep in as hard as it is. As it will lead to worse depression and more suicidal ideation and you deserve more. See your doctor and keep pushing for help and you will get there. To be honest I feel a fraud myself even writing this! From a woman who is so debilitated by depression and anxiety that I am literally bed bound by it. It’s easy to give advice and tell you to go the doctors etc. Less easy to do. But I won’t sit here from my pit of hell and say nothing, or something unhelpful. Better a hypocrite than to ignore such pain in others.

I don’t know what I am trying to say to be honest! I guess number one try to give yourself a break about the kids part - this is a phase that can be fixed. And secondly do seek help and demand it. Muster all the strength you can and demand your right to proper mental health services. I have had to do this before and it is very hard. But you have kids to fight for and they will put a fire in your belly if nothing else will. I don’t have kids and if I did I would be the same as you no doubt. I find it very hard to give any affection or attention to anyone when I’m like this. It’s a normal part of depression.

You’re not alone.

Thankyou for all your posts, it was a dark day yesterday and they really made me feel less alone x I did call my GP but I'm not entirely sure if I'm glad I did or not. I have been told they wont be prescribing me anymore sleeping tablets for my insomnia, which I can understand from a risk perspective, and have referred me for some talking therapy through a sleep wellness app. That's it really. I dont think my GP really listened to what I was saying and obviously now iam back in the situation I was last March with homeschooling and the isolation that comes with lockdown. I do have family but they live quite far away and already bubbled together, my DC father isnt in the picture due to DV. I think I've come to the realisation that I'm the only person who can get me through this, and that's really scary!

If you are a risk to yourself or others, they will advise a&e. If you're having suicidal thoughts, again, to contact 999.

If you're under a mental health team, you'll be advised to contact them

Can you ask the doctor for a referral to the crisis team? They were so helpful to me during lockdown last year when I was in England and even managed to bring me some emergency medication. It sounds awful and like lying but having suffered with mental health issues since I can remember, I learned that when I calmly expressed how I was feeling they did nothing but when I laid it on thick (not exaggerating- just making it super clear how very bad it was even though I wasn’t feeling that bad at that moment but knew I would again, if that makes sense) I got help then. I’m feeling similar and don’t know what to do myself either. People are here for you though and will keep supporting you to get the support you need.

They will refer you to the mental health team which will be the crisis team and they work with a psychiatrist who will come and visit you. It’s worth doing. Failing that if you are really struggling ring 999 and they have mental health professionals at hospital.

Thinking of you @changer123 how are you feeling?