Not really sure what to do

[Psuedoshoes]

I've always struggled with talking about struggling with mental health in real life and instead have always just done the old 'stiff upper lip' and carried on kind of thing. However, I've got myself into a really low way the past few months and I'm not sure how to carry on or where to go for help. I'm due back at work on Monday but I don't know how on earth I can face it. Never had a sick note in my whole life. I'm still lying in bed now, at 1pm, as I can't face the thought of getting up and doing anything. I cry at intervals throughout the day. I've tried to get a GP appointment but it's virtually impossible - by the time I manage to get through they've all gone. I have a daughter but she spends 20-30% of the time at her dad's, which is good as I just feel she must be miserable when she's here with me. Because of her suicide isn't a risk, but if I wasn't a parent I'd have done it by now.

Anyone able to help or advise at all?

I’m so sorry you are struggling. If you speak to the receptionist and ask to be put on the duty Drs list and tell them it’s a mental health issue you may be able to speak to someone. The fact that you mention suicide and your DD is the only reason you are still here speaks volumes about how low you are.
You can only put a stiff upper lip on for so long, if you are really struggling then some time away from work may be really beneficial. Is there any chance of accessing counselling through work? I hope you manage to speak to a Dr soon & that things improve for you

Thank you for your reply! I'll call them on Monday and try that, fingers crossed I'll get somewhere!

Absolutely follow Have’s advice. You are ill, you don’t need to soldier on without support.
Many people I know, myself included, are really struggling at the moment. Get signed off for a while if you need time, there’s absolutely no shame in it. Consider medication, too. It can help enormously (Sertraline helped me).

Thanks all for your lovely responses. I'll try for a GP appointment on Monday. If I still don't manage I might try one of those online GPs - will just have to try and find a reputable one! Thanks again

I wish you all the best. You WILL get past this, OP.

@Psuedoshoes how are you doing? Did you manage to speak to a GP?

Apologies for the late reply, only just realised there was more messages! I managed to get a phone appointment with a GP - minor miracle in itself! He was actually very good. He prescribed me citalopram to try which I started on Wednesday. Have felt really tired and a little nauseous since but hopefully this should pass soon. Actually feeling a bit more 'me' again, though I've got a bit to go yet, but hopefully the meds will help speed this along once they start to kick in. Had a lovely duvet day today with DD watching films and daft YouTube videos, feeling pretty positive. Thank all you lovely people for your concern

OP I’m so glad you got help. I’ve been taking sertraline for a few months and it’s made a world of difference. Fingers crossed the only way is up x

So glad you managed to speak to a Dr and you are feeling a bit more positive. Duvet day sounds lovely

Glad you are feeling a little bit more positive. What do you do for a job? And how long have you been off? X

I’m also off I’ve been prescribed venaflexine. I’ve only had the for three weeks and they can take 4-6 to work. It’s awful feeling so down all the time. I’m hoping for a lift. I worry about being off work but know I need to be

Good luck kero hope you continue to feel better! Bella I've not taken any time off work, just clinging on now and trying to get by. I've never taken any sick leave besides the rare day off when I've felt like death, the thought of it actually makes my anxiety worse! I'm a commercial manager, it's really busy and high-pressure at the moment and it would really put my colleagues in a difficult position if I was off. I know that if I absolutely need to, I must take some time off and I'll have my employer's support, should it come to that.

Citalopram has been great for my DH - keep going as it takes a few weeks to feel the full effect- but he said even after two weeks it was better-
@Mammy1981 I take venlafaxine and due to my circumstances I won’t be off it for years probably but again it has really helped and I’m on the lowest dose and luckily never had to increase-all I would say is try to keep regular dose as if u miss one some people get a bit of vertigo - which soon passes once u take the next dose xx

Hope you both feel able to cope a lot better soon 💐

Just in case it helps, when I had depression, the GP told me I was a textbook case, and people get through it all the time, and come out the other side happy. It sounds like you are a textbook case too; there's nothing a bit unusual about any of your symptoms. This means that you are nothing like alone in what you're going through, and millions of people who aren't going through it right now have gone through it in the past.

My experience was 3 months of Citalopram, which made me feel sort of numb but less tragic, and a gradual improvement in my condition. I often felt, and feel, that depression would be more correctly named 'emotional exhaustion', in that you simply don't have the energy to have any emotions except 'flat', 'pointless' etc. Take the pills, know you are not alone, rest your weary emotional self.

You aren't ok, but being aware of that and pro-active about it means you will be. Go easy on yourself

I'm a commercial manager, it's really busy and high-pressure at the moment and it would really put my colleagues in a difficult position if I was off

Be aware that this pressure will be part of the cause for your current condition. The world will not crumble if you take some time off work. You have a duty and a responsibility to your job and your colleagues, but you do not owe them your wellbeing.

Yeah I’m on the lowest dose too. My worry is work. People say just go back and see how you go but I am barely leaving the house. I work in a school so they are closed anyway