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Feeling lost and hopeless

3 replies

Overtherainbow12 · 30/12/2020 23:39

I’ve never posted on here before but have been on looking for advice and everyone seems so helpful I thought I would ask

I’m feeling extremely low and depressed and struggling to function day to day with my kids toddler and teenager. I start to feel panicky and just think I can’t keep on going, like it’s a constant battle to get through each day and don’t feel like fighting anymore. I know I have to and I know it’s in my head but I don’t know how to get better. I know I need to keep busy and focus all my time and energy into my kids but sometimes I feel so depressed I can barely move. I just need some help with ways to focus and how to manage through the darkest days.
A year ago I left my husband of 15 yr because of yrs of domestic abuse, in the last year resulted in me being beaten and or strangled multiple times a week, when I left I left our house all possessions as well as job. I’ve got a whole new life now and although still police stuff going on with ex, he has finally stopped Harrassing me for past few weeks. My life before I left him was shit, now it is amazing, totally different, so I don’t know why I am still feeling like this? I should be so happy, how do I get myself out of this rut and live the life I should have been living for past 15 years? Since split I have v much kept myself to myself, while he has been slandering me from every angle, even messaging everyone on my social media accusing me of all sorts. He’s not seeing his kids for valid reasons away from the abuse he gave me.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 31/12/2020 00:01

Couldn’t read and run OP. Have you sought medical advice on the depression? It could have a number of root causes and the key is to get to what that root cause is.

Overtherainbow12 · 31/12/2020 00:12

Thank you yes I've spoken to gp and on medication

OP posts:
SlB09 · 31/12/2020 00:26

It's not uncommon to leave these situations and feel worse for a while not better - which seems strange! But you run on adrenaline for so long, in fight mode and it takes a toll on your body and mind, and although your out of the situation physically, mentally it sounds like you havnt processed it all fully - understandable as it hasn't been very long in the grand scheme of things, especially if there is still issues in the background.

Have you considered counselling/CBT etc aswell as the medication? It might help and maybe explore the possibility of things like PTSD? Even if you can access face to face there are online options that might just keep you going a little bit?
Go easy on yourself, it's really not been long. Just put one foot in front of the other, you have a 100% success rate of getting through the day so far. You will get there.

For now, I have personally found apps like calm or other medication apps really really useful after a few days felt a little difference.
Join support forums, many out there, MIND are quite good.
Pull in any help you can at all. Even if it's for an hour.
Get out for some fresh air daily.
Speak to someone on the phone when you can, better still face time - no substitute for F2F but still positive.
Make sure your getting enough vitamin d
Try and eat one nice thing a day, whatever that may be.
Limit screen time, read (if you can concentrate and whilst LO in bed), play card games, do puzzles, garden, paint, draw, bake, decorate, DIY. Anything to keep your hands busy.
Make a list of things to do and do one each day.

It sounds abit idealistic but that's things really do help to chip away at the sinking feeling bit by bit.

If the medication doesn't feel like it's working then make sure you go back for review, sometimes doses need tweaking or a different one would suit you better. Also the GP can do bloods to check for things like aneamia or thyroid issues (if they havnt already) that may be contributing.

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