Parents who have bipolar - advice please

[Autumnismyseason]

Firstly, how much are you in ‘control’ of your bipolar? My DP was diagnosed a few years ago and despite being on quetiapine and lamotragen still experiences cycles, about every 2 months. They have doubled his doses since he first started taking medication and I guess I’d like to know what’s a reasonable about of times to still be experiencing mania and depression. Feels like a lot still to me?

Secondly, how do you explain / manage with your children? Now mine are getting older they are noticing and get a bit anxious. Thanks for your help

www.copmi.net.au/kids-young-people/about-mental-illness

this is a great web site aimed at kids with parents who have mental health issues. there may be others out there but this is one I am aware of. re kids, the truth explained in an age appropriate way is best - at the end of the day it is an illness that the parent has not chosen to get and the behaviours carried out by the parent whilst ill are no reflection on them or the child but the illness.

good luck

I think the medication makes the cycles less extreme and maybe less frequent rather than stopping them altogether.

I was diagnosed over a decade ago, I've been on lithium all that time and after the birth of my second dc also venlafaxine. I'm relatively stable, the last few years I have mostly depressive episodes with some hypermanic.

For me it's also about self management, not just medication. So I keep routine, I monitor my moods and take action when they start to change. I do regular exercise, eat as well as I can (lockdown and Christmas aside!). I make sure I get enough sleep, and am often prescribed short periods of sleeping tablets to help regulate my sleep.

My children experience my depression, and I've explained it to them as just part of how my brain works. My dd has ASD, so it helps we already have that language.

Hi, yes the copmi site from the PP is really good. It's Australian but a lot of it is really relevant.

Mind also have some information on their website: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/parenting-with-a-mental-health-problem/parenting-and-mental-health/

I don't know where you live but there is also "Kids Time" that have workshops for parents and children when a parent has mental illness: ourtime.org.uk/ourwork/kidstime-workshops/

I think what's really important is that the kids know they are not responsible for your DPs bipolar, that he is getting help to feel better and that you both love them.

Best wishes to your whole family

My bipolar was triggered by the death of DD six years ago. I probably always had it but was just a bit odd. So DS remembers me before as he was 12 when it happened. I have been honest with him but appreciate he was 14 when I explained fully. I have had extensive therapy for five years and still have access to talking therapy on the phone almost 24/7.

I self manage and have a routine.

I gave up alcohol, now I have a sip of champagne on NYE and at weddings. That’s it and alcohol should be avoided at all costs by anyone with MH issues but we live in a culturally boozed up society unfortunately.

I sleep often and when I need to being tired is positively dangerous. Getting hugely tired over a period of months is what triggered my most serious manic episode.

I eat healthily

There has been some research in to fish oil being good for MH so I did try it but it upset my stomach.

I need periods of peace and to be totally alone I literally cannot be near anyone, now it’s just DH and DS who is 19 it’s easy.

Accepting your like it and taking responsibility for when you have poor behaviour and acknowledging you have been in the wrong even though you don’t mean to be like that.

My illness is very well controlled now. I need to do it because I realise that many people with serious MH issues end up alone because we can be massive arseholes to those we love.

I say to myself I have hated living with me but I cannot get away from me ever. But DH can, we did separate briefly which was partially my MH issues but not wholly.

I have weekly psychotherapy, have been for a year now too.