Self harm scars, now recovered. What do you tell your children?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

I have a few long scars on my upper arm and some on my wrist. I am certain that any adult would know what they are but they don’t mention it. I’m not sure what I’d say if they did.
When my DC have asked, I’ve said ‘oh just from a scratch a long time ago’ but DD (11) has asked twice recently with more concern/ interest.
I don’t really know what to say to her. I don’t want to glamorise or even normalise the cutting. But I was far too ashamed of it to tell anyone when I did it (aged around 17) and wouldn’t want her to feel that way - I also want her to be able to communicate feelings better so that she never needs to do it.
We talk a lot but she has never liked talking about feelings!
Does anyone have experience or ideas around this please?

Hi OP,
I think if your DD is 11 she will probably already have an idea of what your scars are, and might already be imagining what might have happened (and perhaps feeling worried about you).
I really think honesty (in an age-appropriate way) is the best policy here. You also say you are worried about whether she will be able to communicate her feelings, so you could say something like "when I was younger, I didn't know what to do with my feelings, and didn't understand yet how important talking was, so I ended up hurting myself thinking it would make things better" (or whatever explanation is authentic to you and to your situation). Hope this helps.

Thanks. You are probably right. I’ll give it a bit more thought but I like your explanation.