Emerging personality disorder 17 year old

[TragedyHands]

I can't find any help, have been through all the correct channels and nobody will believe us, or at 17 there is no provision.
I know CAMHS can refer to private clinics for residential care, but not sure what treatment would look like.
I've heard DBT mentioned, but can't find out much about it, even from the hospitals own websites.
Anyone any experience?

I am guessing you think your 17yo may have EUPD/BPD as that is what DBT treatment was developed to help?
If so, what might speed things along is to ask for Autism assessment. Two reasons for this. There is a lot of overlap between certain types of ASD and EUPD such that many young people are misdiagnosed with one when they have the other. (Especially in girls)
Autism assessment is also a lot easier to get a referral for or to afford to be done privately. If your 17yo has ASD, then you have a clear path for immediate assistance. On other hand, if the assessment rules out ASD, you have clinical information supporting the possible presence of EUPD/BPD and that would help bump them up in priority for CAMHS.

Aw, thank you so much.
I think there's a lot going on there, had social services, CAMHS, even the Police.
Because there is this cry for attention, they think it's normal teenage stuff or minor issues, and don't believe or see the abuse, manipulation, and sheer destruction, to all the immediate family.

Even managed to pull the wool over their eyes with such Charm and Charisma.
Have read so much and watched all the youtube videos and it seems like we have a year to tackle this. It might not work and we may have to part ways, but the love for your child and wanting to do the best is always there.

Is your teenager looking for support?
Your post indicate you need support to deal with her behaviour. It's not clear if she wants therapy.

I have an EUPD diagnosis. You can ask your gp for a referral to a private psychiatrist for an assessment. If your DC has characteristics of BPD the psychiatrist and/or a clinical psychologist would assess whether your DC would benefit from DBT. I think they would certainly need to be open to therapy as it’s quite a commitment-about 20 weeks minimum and about £10k (if you don’t have insurance). I don’t know how widely DBT is available through the NHS. The course I did has some quite young people on it-one person was doing her A levels.

What is happening that makes you think its a personality disorder? What are their symptoms and behaviours?

What I would want to know is what has happened to this girl that means she has learnt how to try to meet her needs in ways that mean social services and the police have to get involved?

Does she need support for previous difficult life experiences, relationship challenges or times that have left her feeling vulnerable, frightened or confused?

I echo PP curiosity about developmental difficulties or neuro diversity.

It must be incredibly difficult for all of you. I hope you get some help.

The damage caused could not have been unplanned.
Absolutely nothing major in life, normal family. Mum and Dad married for 30 years, much older siblings if that makes any sense. Been given everything, but not materialistic, more support encouragement and so many opportunities.
We aren't rich though, but family will all pull together.
She is loved dearly, no threat to anyone other than herself and her family, in this sense she's dangerous.
Absolutely broke every one of us emotionally and then discarded us.
Tried her best at whatever game she was playing.
We just want her to be well, and yes she knows she needs help, but whether she'll engage is another matter.

This sounds like my older sister. My parents tried to get help for her but she would insist they were the problem.
This was 25 years ago now but she very clearly had EUPD. The book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T Mason and Randi Kreger is useful for knowing how to deal with the mood swings at home and particularly on creating boundaries.

10 years ago my sister went on to develop psychotic episodes, although this was awful and she ended up sectioned, it was the start of proper psychiatric help.

Good luck with finding support. The Rethink website is another useful resource.

I just read your reply, that's great that she knows she needs help. This was the hurdle that my mum couldn't overcome.

Thank you for the replies.
I thought you'd think it was me who was imagining it.
In the end she had all he agencies eating out of her hand and was controlling everything. It was so scary to see.
Almost like somebody else was driving it, but that avenue was checked first and thoroughly.
It's horrible to say such things about your child, how they take any weakness and use it against you, emotional abuse, gaslighting, love/hate.
I woke up at the start of this episode along with ds2 and realised what was happening, even though I don't understand a bit of it.
Just being able to know that others have experience or can help is a relief.
As for what has happened, I really honestly don't know. I've racked my brains and spoken to her siblings for their input.
I'm not suggesting we are perfect parents or none of it is to do with us, because it must do.

Please don't think that you have done something to cause it, there are genetic and biological links.

"I hate you, don't leave me" sums it up well. The manipulation and emotional abuse can be very damaging for you and your other family members so do take care to put some boundaries in place to protect yourselves. It wasn't until I read the book I mentioned that I realised it is possible to protect yourself whilst also remaining loving to the person with EUPD.

Good luck.