Do I need to seek help? suicidal thoughts

[FloresAmarillas]

I feel trapped, suffocated by life and just a bit hopeless really.

I have intermittent thoughts of ending my life but I don’t think I’d ever really do it. My partner thinks that I should seek some help but I’m not sure.

Is it always a problem to have these thoughts or is it something most people think about but never intend to act on it?

It's normal to have those kind of thoughts fleetingly, but if it's worrying you then I'd advise talking to someone. There are many free helplines if you don't want to speak to someone in person

Hi I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. Do these thoughts happen often and is it the first time you're having them? If you haven't made any plans to act then it sounds like you may be suffering with suicidal ideation. I think it would be helpful for you to speak to someone, a therapist perhaps, if that's possible? You mention a partner, do you have any other support in real life?

Thanks - they don’t actually worry me but I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t really care if I live or die - it’s hard for me to muster up the energy for a lot of things.

I have had such thoughts before and they tend to coincide with difficult periods in my life. I don’t really have much support - I was seeing a counsellor before lockdown but this has fell away as has most of my life.

It does sound like you need help from what you’ve said, OP. Have you tried checking out Mind or other mental health charities? I would also contact your GP. Hope you’re ok.

I think I’m ok but others are worried about me. That’s why I thought I’d check on here, as I’ve always valued the advice I’ve received here.
Thanks very much for your replies everyone.

@FloresAmarillas

Thanks - they don’t actually worry me but I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t really care if I live or die - it’s hard for me to muster up the energy for a lot of things.

I have had such thoughts before and they tend to coincide with difficult periods in my life. I don’t really have much support - I was seeing a counsellor before lockdown but this has fell away as has most of my life.

You could see it as your brain's warning flag that you're not okay. Feeling apathetic about living or dying doesn't sound good. Do you get any pleasure from anything at the moment? Do you look forward to anything?

Thank you for asking this OP. I wondered about something similar during a very difficult to time a year or two ago. I 'imagined' at the time that if I had a car accident serious enough to break a bone or something it would get me off the hopelessness that was my life at the time. I don't think people speak honestly about this. There is only my counsellor I ever told this to. If I remember correctly she basically said similar to @Misty9 - a warning that if someone is even thinking this way things are bad.

I would speak to your doctor op and try to arrange to speak with a counselor again.. it's really good that you are talking about this, that's half the battle.

When it come to your suicidal thoughts, are they just fleeting? Or have you made any kind of plan?

I know it's difficult to see it right now but things WILL get better. The world is a better place with you in it.

Yes you do need to seek help OP. GP or counsellor putting it into words and understanding where you are helps you see how real it is and the help you need.

You should defo see a gp for a counselling referral again or self refer if that’s possible. Lots of counsellors are doing phone or Skype consultations.

It’s normal to have the odd fleeting dark thought but not on a daily weekly or monthly basis, and to not care whether you live or die is an indicator that something could be improved.

It could be something as simple as the chemicals in the brain being out of whack and just needing a light dose of daily meds to rebalance them for a while.

If you couldn’t see quite right with your glasses you’d get new glasses, so if you can’t feel happiness the way you used to just see the gp and get whatever it is sorted.

We all struggle at points in our lives and your gp should be there for you.

In the meantime you can always call the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone.

@FloresAmarillas how are you doing today?

Hi @Misty9 I’m ok thanks for checking.

To answer some of the other questions, I’ve been looking online to see if there’s any help available and will get in contact with my GP in the new year.

I don’t get much pleasure from anything at the moment. Everything just seems rather bleak.

The thoughts are sometimes fleeting and other times I sit and think of the best way to do it but I don’t think I’m brave enough.

Thanks for your help everyone.

@FloresAmarillas thanks for replying. Thinking of the best way to do it is definitely a red flag. If you get on with cbt then you could check out www.livinglifetothefull.com and I'd also recommend books by Russ Harris which incorporate an approach called Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT) The Happiness Trap and the Reality Slap are two of his.

I would really advocate getting outside, even if you don't feel like it. And try to focus on your surroundings rather than your head. If you do feel unsafe then the website www.stayingsafe.net has a good online safety plan.

these thoughts and feelings do always pass, but the present can be bloody hard sometimes

Sorry, it's llttf.com/ not the one I posted above

@FloresAmarillas please do get in contact with your GP, you can even call the out of hours or 111 if you need to speak to someone sooner than new year.
Mind is a great place to get in touch with too as a previous poster has said.

Thanks everyone for caring enough about me to reply. You’ve no ideas what that means to me. I’m actually selling up typing this .

Just to add, you don't have to be actively suicidal to ring the Samaritans. They are always there for you, day or night and in confidence, and from what you have said it might be helpful to talk things through with them. Thinking of you, OP, and of others feeling similarly

You do need to seek help. ASAP. It’s not healthy to be sitting there thinking like this. You may feel bleak at the moment but this doesn’t have to be forever. Good luck OP. CBT and medication gave me my life back.

I can understand where your coming from. I constantly think of suicide, long story but I'm estranged from my son and the thought of him coming back in my life and having to sort out his continuous problems is the cause, He will soon be homeless which I can't bear to think off. I can only see one way out of it for me. I've lived like this for years. Wasted years of my life. I think of this constantly through the day

@changed12344 only your son can sort out his own problems. Until he wants to do this he won't be able to take steps towards it. This boundary is important. I'm sorry you are disconnected from him. That is hard. It is hard knowing you can do nothing. Accepting this is key and in no way easy. I can see why you think there is only one way out. What are you important for in your life? There will be something - however small.

@FloresAmarillas just checking in to see how you are doing today?