Just contacted GP and so proud

[LindaEllen]

I've suffered with anxiety (and depression that I think stems from the anxiety) since I was about 18 and I'm now 30. It's never been debilitating but it certainly limits the way I live my life.

For goodness knows what reason (as I'm not actually feeling too bad at the moment!) tonight I finally got the courage to send an online consultation form to the GP.

They're not doing face to face at the moment so I guess I'll either get an email reply or possibly a phone call.

But either way I'm really proud of myself.

I think one of the reasons I've not done it so far is that I'm scared whatever they suggest won't make me feel better - and then I have no options left.

Does anyone have any success stories of finally telling the GP and then getting treatment that really helped them improve their lives?

Hopefully this time next year I'll be able to say happy Christmas and really mean it!

@LindaEllen just read your thread and super proud of you. Hope Monday comes round soon for you.

And @Apricotta... Love it... Trying to work out which hole I'm at!

[quote mrsdiddlydoo]@LindaEllen just read your thread and super proud of you. Hope Monday comes round soon for you.

And @Apricotta... Love it... Trying to work out which hole I'm at![/quote]
Thank you! I just want it over and done with and to know what I can try. I'm scared they might suggest counselling, which I don't think I'm brave enough for. I'm hoping they'll prescribe something to try and level it out a little then I'm in a clearer frame of mind to actually get a grasp on it and do what needs to be done. But if they insist on counselling first I know for a fact i just won't go, and I'll be back to square one - probably at another GP in another 12 years!

I'm not against counselling at all, I know it's effective, just I feel like I need a little help to be able to do it, along with self care etc. Meds seem the way forward in my mind at least at first, just to lessen the anxiety to give me a fighting chance to help myself.. I've been researching my options for years .. I just hope GP agrees to let me try!

I found I needed meds to give me the breathing space to get the rest of the help I needed. Even now going back on medication, I think I need a clearer mind to be able see things clearly and get the most from cbt or talking therapy.

The hardest bit is recognising there's a problem and asking for help.

@mrsdiddlydoo

I found I needed meds to give me the breathing space to get the rest of the help I needed. Even now going back on medication, I think I need a clearer mind to be able see things clearly and get the most from cbt or talking therapy.

The hardest bit is recognising there's a problem and asking for help.

I agree - that's exactly how I feel at the moment. I feel like I've made such a huge step even filling the form in, let alone booking an appointment. I just know if I was offered CBT I couldn't make myself do it. But perhaps, with the right medication, I could get my anxiety under control enough to give it a try!

I hope you're okay now and that your chosen treatments worked for you!

@LindaEllen

Thanks all! *@middleager* get it booked - I did mine the second I got the email as I just knew if I left it I wouldn't do it. I'm finding the 'new year new start' thing quite motivating for getting things started.

Appointment is on Monday morning, thankfully a telephone one. I'm writing some notes about the way I feel and how I get anxious in various situations. I'm pretty sure I have generalised anxiety disorder but I'll just give them as much info as I can and see what they say.

I feel bad making a fuss when there are worse things in life .. but the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps I have actually been anxious since I was a teen (half my life ago!) so it's become normal to me.

At the moment I feel scared but also kind of hopeful that something might change.

You've inspired me again. Just writing my notes and will call tomorrow.

Please let me know how it goes. I'd never have done this without your thread.

What you described sounded similar to me and I often question whether it's 'bad enough' to call (like you, see worse problems and feel guilty) but it's not normal to feel anxious over everything and catastrophise and reading your words resonated.
I just hope we are both heard and have positive outcomes.

Good luck and thank you for being the spark I needed.

Well done for taking that first step, I waited until I was well and truly stuck at the bottom of the hole before crying my way through a consultation with a fantastically supportive GP. He offered me medication and discussed all the different options (I am a pharmacist but couldn't even think straight as to what I was hoping for!). We went through things like was it stopping me from eating (yes), was I struggling to sleep (yes) did I want to be able to drink any alcohol, was it panic I was feeling or low mood/depression/generalised anxiety, did I have someone at home if the side effects became severe. In the end I got a prescription for mirtazapine (for the tired but wired as he described it) and some diazepam to relax the muscles in my back and neck as I was making myself stoop with the tension. There are plenty of other options and different people will make different choices with regards to the medication they choose, which is why the appt with your GP is better than simply being given a prescription.

Well done for taking that first step, I waited until I was well and truly stuck at the bottom of the hole before crying my way through a consultation with a fantastically supportive GP. He offered me medication and discussed all the different options (I am a pharmacist but couldn't even think straight as to what I was hoping for!). We went through things like was it stopping me from eating (yes), was I struggling to sleep (yes) did I want to be able to drink any alcohol, was it panic I was feeling or low mood/depression/generalised anxiety, did I have someone at home if the side effects became severe. In the end I got a prescription for mirtazapine (for the tired but wired as he described it) and some diazepam to relax the muscles in my back and neck as I was making myself stoop with the tension. There are plenty of other options and different people will make different choices with regards to the medication they choose, which is why the appt with your GP is better than simply being given a prescription.

@middleager so glad I've been of some help! I will definitely let you know how it goes. Likely to wind myself up endlessly between now and then though 😂 x

@muddledmidget

Well done for taking that first step, I waited until I was well and truly stuck at the bottom of the hole before crying my way through a consultation with a fantastically supportive GP. He offered me medication and discussed all the different options (I am a pharmacist but couldn't even think straight as to what I was hoping for!). We went through things like was it stopping me from eating (yes), was I struggling to sleep (yes) did I want to be able to drink any alcohol, was it panic I was feeling or low mood/depression/generalised anxiety, did I have someone at home if the side effects became severe. In the end I got a prescription for mirtazapine (for the tired but wired as he described it) and some diazepam to relax the muscles in my back and neck as I was making myself stoop with the tension. There are plenty of other options and different people will make different choices with regards to the medication they choose, which is why the appt with your GP is better than simply being given a prescription.

Thank you - I 100% agree with the GP that I should see her, I just want to avoid talking about it in person 😂 so was hoping she'd give me some magic beans to solve all my problems. But yes it's definitely the right thing to be done.

I am also incredibly nervous about side effects of medication which I want to discuss with her as well. Like, I really really don't want to have a horrible anxious week when I first start taking whatever I get .. but I know it would be worth it long term.

I will carry on writing notes and thinking about what I'm worried about and why I've left it this long!

Well done! I took medication daily to reduce the anxiety (which like yours caused depression). Pushed for a referral to MH services and saw an excellent Clinical Psychologist, over time that dealt with the anxiety and I’m now off the meds and so much better than I ever have been. A lengthy process but worth it, the first step is the hardest so you’ve done really well to take it OP.

@gavisconismyfriend

Well done! I took medication daily to reduce the anxiety (which like yours caused depression). Pushed for a referral to MH services and saw an excellent Clinical Psychologist, over time that dealt with the anxiety and I’m now off the meds and so much better than I ever have been. A lengthy process but worth it, the first step is the hardest so you’ve done really well to take it OP.

Thank you :). I'm so glad you've made a positive change in your life.

Just hope I can do the same :).

@LindaEllen

Update: I bit the bullet (thanks to you) and rang my GP today.

I couldn't believe it when they said the lead GP would ring me back this morning.

This sent me into a panic, worrying whether he'd believe me and if he'd be angry at me for wasting his time with this when so many are suffering with physical illness.

I spoke to him for 5 mins or so- he's very matter of fact, old school if you like, so I was thinking he'd just tell me to pop two paracetamol and go for a walk.

He was very understanding and has prescribed Fluoxetine and Talking Therapies.

The relief is immense. Mainly that he "believed" me and that I can take something to hopefully help ease the constant fear and angst.

I don't know if this medication will work, but I'm now on (hopefully) a brighter, calmer road.

He wants me to call back in a month to review the treatment.

Thank you again. This has only come about because of you mentioning the e-consultation. Good luck for next week. I hope your outcome is equally positive.

[quote middleager]**@LindaEllen

Update: I bit the bullet (thanks to you) and rang my GP today.

I couldn't believe it when they said the lead GP would ring me back this morning.

This sent me into a panic, worrying whether he'd believe me and if he'd be angry at me for wasting his time with this when so many are suffering with physical illness.

I spoke to him for 5 mins or so- he's very matter of fact, old school if you like, so I was thinking he'd just tell me to pop two paracetamol and go for a walk.

He was very understanding and has prescribed Fluoxetine and Talking Therapies.

The relief is immense. Mainly that he "believed" me and that I can take something to hopefully help ease the constant fear and angst.

I don't know if this medication will work, but I'm now on (hopefully) a brighter, calmer road.

He wants me to call back in a month to review the treatment.

Thank you again. This has only come about because of you mentioning the e-consultation. Good luck for next week. I hope your outcome is equally positive.[/quote]
Brilliant! It's amazing that it happened so quickly as well, as you didn't have time to talk yourself out of it (which is what I'm doing 😂). You must be so relieved to have taken the step. When are you going to start the tablets?

Luckily I had written notes last night and was scrambling for them but yes the fact I didn't have time to obsess helped.

Can't get through to the pharmacy but hoping to get them and start them ASAP though I've heard drinking on them can be an issue and I wanted a drink NYE, so maybe 1 Jan

I've been drinking more lately, not excessively, but was going to try to cut it down to just weekends, so this may escalate that.

Yesterday, you wrote you were thinking of scenarios where your anxiety kicked in. I'm glad you did this because I thought of some yesterday on the back of your comment. Good job, as the GP asked for a couple of examples. They sounded ridiculous (every car journey I think there will be an accident and I'll die, when the boiler broke I catastrophised about having to move home or being homeless in lockdown, the etc. I'm sure most people don't live like that!)

@middleager So pleased it went well. Yay!

@LindaEllen I think being anxious can make it more difficult to start medication because of worrying about the side effects. But if you find a medication that you tolerate or are happy to take and can make it through the first few weeks, it is so worth it. I had to wait 5 long days to speak to my gp this time and he was so understanding.

@middleager

Luckily I had written notes last night and was scrambling for them but yes the fact I didn't have time to obsess helped.

Can't get through to the pharmacy but hoping to get them and start them ASAP though I've heard drinking on them can be an issue and I wanted a drink NYE, so maybe 1 Jan

I've been drinking more lately, not excessively, but was going to try to cut it down to just weekends, so this may escalate that.

Yesterday, you wrote you were thinking of scenarios where your anxiety kicked in. I'm glad you did this because I thought of some yesterday on the back of your comment. Good job, as the GP asked for a couple of examples. They sounded ridiculous (every car journey I think there will be an accident and I'll die, when the boiler broke I catastrophised about having to move home or being homeless in lockdown, the etc. I'm sure most people don't live like that!)

1st Jan seems a good day to start. I know it doesn't really matter when, but it feels positive and significant that it's a new year ☺️.

I'm exactly the same - I catastrophise so much. I can't even go on holiday because I just know the worrying about flight times, luggage, finding hotels etc wouldn't be worth it. Worry about not being able to park when I'm going on a trip out to somewhere I don't know. Worry about me, DP, my parents getting ill. It's exhausting but I've been this way so long it feels normal.

Funnily enough I'm struggling to deal with it now. As much as it feels normal to me, I can almost see the light now I've got an appointment booked, so I want to feel better now!

So glad you're on a positive journey now!! I bet if someone had told you this time last week you'd have made the call, you wouldn't have believed them ☺️

[quote mrsdiddlydoo]@middleager So pleased it went well. Yay!

@LindaEllen I think being anxious can make it more difficult to start medication because of worrying about the side effects. But if you find a medication that you tolerate or are happy to take and can make it through the first few weeks, it is so worth it. I had to wait 5 long days to speak to my gp this time and he was so understanding.[/quote]
I am anxious about the side effects for sure. I worry a lot about being ill, and even the likes of an upset stomach sends me into panic. I think it will even if I know it's due to the medication. But I do know I have to try them, and try my very hardest to see it through the first bit where any side effects might happen.

In a way it's good that I'm doing this now. I can't work, I have to stay home, I can't visit family. It's like I have the time to work this through quietly without having to make excuses or miss anything if I feel bad. It'll probably be the only time in our lifetime I have this kind of chance to have the time to work on myself, so as shit as the whole situation with covid undoubtedly is, I can at least bring some kind of positive from it.

Agree - if I wasn't Wfh or not driving kids around I probably wouldn't have had time to languish on MN so much, see your thread and speak to the GP!

Have collected meds but waiting til Jan 1. Tier 4 now so won't be driving about, which was always a worry on lack of sleep, trying medication etc.

Hi op I have had anxiety for the last year or so but it was coming out in physical symptoms and so I was convinced something was wrong physically. Then one day I just woke up feeling awful and jittery heart racing etc and the penny dropped is this anxiety.. either way I thought I can’t go on like this and as soon as I dropped my daughter off at school I phoned my surgery and the GP phoned me back straight away! It was a locum which I think actually helped as I felt quite embarrassed and it was a lot easier to open up to a stranger than my family doc. Anyway I have been prescribed proplanalol to take as and when and it’s definitely helped. He also told me to take a note of when I take a tablet and so far I’ve noticed it always seems to be a Friday or Saturday night! I don’t feel the need to go back to gp I am managing ok so far but I will keep taking a note just incase it gets worse again. Well done on getting in touch with your gp it’s a game changer x

@middleager

Agree - if I wasn't Wfh or not driving kids around I probably wouldn't have had time to languish on MN so much, see your thread and speak to the GP!

Have collected meds but waiting til Jan 1. Tier 4 now so won't be driving about, which was always a worry on lack of sleep, trying medication etc.

Yeah I want to start mine (assuming I get any!) on a day where I can just chill and not have to drive!

One thing I want to change in the new year is not spending so much time online, but like you, if I hadn't, I might not have ended up making my appointment! So it can't all be bad :).

@Halfpint2017

Hi op I have had anxiety for the last year or so but it was coming out in physical symptoms and so I was convinced something was wrong physically. Then one day I just woke up feeling awful and jittery heart racing etc and the penny dropped is this anxiety.. either way I thought I can’t go on like this and as soon as I dropped my daughter off at school I phoned my surgery and the GP phoned me back straight away! It was a locum which I think actually helped as I felt quite embarrassed and it was a lot easier to open up to a stranger than my family doc. Anyway I have been prescribed proplanalol to take as and when and it’s definitely helped. He also told me to take a note of when I take a tablet and so far I’ve noticed it always seems to be a Friday or Saturday night! I don’t feel the need to go back to gp I am managing ok so far but I will keep taking a note just incase it gets worse again. Well done on getting in touch with your gp it’s a game changer x

Hey :) thanks for sharing your story! I'm so glad your meds are helping you. I find the feeling of anxiety so horrible, I don't get it too badly that often (it's like constant low level for me rather than severe anxiety) but when it does I just want to run away .. I don't know where to or what from! We've been super brave taking our first steps and it's great to hear from someone who's further in the journey than me!

---

I'm going through stages of being really nervous about my appointment, but also quite excited (and trust me, I don't feel positive about much these days) about the prospect of perhaps feeling more normal, and being able to do things without my brain providing a helpful list of 20 reasons I shouldn't!

Feeling really anxious tonight thinking about my appointment tomorrow. Going over and over it and thinking I don't need to talk to them. I keep thinking is my life THAT bad with the way it is now? The issue is I can't remember what it feels to be normal. I've been this way the whole of my adult life.

I'm so close to cancelling the appointment as I just don't feel like I can talk to her.

I'm dreading her prescribing me something with terrible side effects. Or something that just doesn't work.

More than anything I'm scared of crying while I'm talking. Explaining how I've not been normal as an adult has to take a lot of emotion, right?

It will be a lot of emotion, and you probably will cry. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it won't be anything that the GP hasn't seen before. For me, the biggest emotion I felt was relief that I finally got to say I wasn't OK, and I needed their help to feel OK. After that was fear, of not being believed, of thinking they would think I was a failure, for any impact it might have on my career. Its probably worse for you because you've had time to dwell on this, whereas I just went during a crisis situation. Don't discount any of the medication due to side effects, not everybody gets them, and not everybody gets them badly, but there's no way of knowing until you try them exactly how you're going to respond. If there are any side effects (apart from nausea, that's a possibility with any of them) that would be a deal breaker you can mention that, so weight gain/loss or drowsiness, and they can try and avoid something that would likely cause that. But good luck, you've been so brave making the first step, just 24 hours more and this will also be in the past.

Don't be scared and don't cancel! The GP will have probably heard similar things many, many times. It's very common. I've had depression for most of my adult life and when I need to I take fluoxetine. It suits me very well and the best way of describing what it does is that it gives the the resilience I need to cope. I went back on it this September and it's helped me through. The GP should help you find what's right for you- and some people try a few before finding what's right for them. Please persevere. And also - if you find it easier to write down your thoughts and let the GP read it that can sometimes be a really good way to approach the first appointment if saying it all out loud is too much. Or you practise your first sentence. Good luck.this is the start of a better chapter. Please continue to be proud of yourself.

Well done OP!