Wanting to make myself sick

[Biffbaff]

Hi everyone, I am looking for some guidance/reassurance. I keep getting these urges to make myself sick. It's not body-image related, more a response to stress. I feel a sort of anxiety nausea which sits at the top of my chest. It can persist for ages and when it's there, I obsess about going to make myself sick to get rid of it. It's like a compulsion.

I haven't given in yet as I think it would be a slippery slope but it's really hard to resist. It plays on my mind a LOT. It's also confusing as it's not bulimia, but what is it? What can I do about it?

Thanks for reading.

Hi, I get very nauseous when stressed and this can last a while. I normally chew gum to settle my stomach. If this doesn't work, there have been times when I have made myself sick just to get it over with. I know that if the nausea persists I will be sick anyway. So I see it as just speeding it up. I have always thrown up when stressed.

Hi, my primary diagnosis is anorexia but I've certainly made myself sick on occasion. It isn't to do with body image (nor is anorexia), it is, as you say, to relieve anxiety and attempt to release endorphins. But don't worry about 'what it is' - you haven't done it yet and that's the important thing. Making yourself sick is very, very dangerous. So is starving yourself, but those are long terms consequences. I don't want to frighten you, but forced vomiting can actually cause a heart attack via electrolyte imbalance. And yes, its an extremely slipperly slope as you will become addicted to the feeling of relief from your anxiety (starvation relieves anxiety in anorexics and there's a known evolutionary 'defect' called the flee famine response that causes it - not really a defect, it had its use at one point in human history, but you know what I mean).

If you think you could be frightened out of the impulse to do it, there is an infamous photograph on the internet that many people have found to be extremely aversive. On the other hand, some people have found it triggering, so use your judgement. It was released at the request of the young woman's family, and shows a young person who was found deceased after forcing herself to vomit. It really brings home the reality and seriousness of what you are considering.

Thanks for your comments. Yes, it's the fear of the serious consequences that are holding me back. I've had the same with self harm ideation, where I have thought a lot about cutting myself but the fear of actually doing it has held me back too.

Could you do something to distract yourself from the physical sensation of being sick? Try something safe that induces strong physical sensations that override the feeling. Maybe exercise or holding ice or pinging an elastic band on your wrist.

I don’t know if that would be helpful....

I just know that I’m order to feel real I have often starved myself so that I can feel something physical. I also often get the urge to make myself sick and also play with the idea of cutting myself. I distract myself by choosing a safe way to physically feel something stronger than the urges I have.

I’m sorry you’re struggling. Are you getting any support?

@Honestadviceneeded

Could you do something to distract yourself from the physical sensation of being sick? Try something safe that induces strong physical sensations that override the feeling. Maybe exercise or holding ice or pinging an elastic band on your wrist.

I don’t know if that would be helpful....

I just know that I’m order to feel real I have often starved myself so that I can feel something physical. I also often get the urge to make myself sick and also play with the idea of cutting myself. I distract myself by choosing a safe way to physically feel something stronger than the urges I have.

I’m sorry you’re struggling. Are you getting any support?

Thanks so much for your message. I am having regular talking therapy. Appts are a few weeks apart at a time which works for me on the whole. It's just that these thoughts have ramped up lately and even though I have brought them up in therapy I haven't found a good coping mechanism for the thoughts yet. Thanks for your suggestions about distraction, I will try that.