How am I going to get through Christmas ?

[Hm2020]

This may be long I have bipolar 1 with emotional unstable personality disorder traits last year I was made a day patient at a psychiatric hospital but didn’t engage much I had psychotherapy and have been seeing a psychiatrist for many years thanks to COVID my psychiatrist and care co ordernator have left and have not been replace the first time I saw anyone since March was a few weeks ago in the last 2 weeks I’ve tried to take two over doses my on off boyfriend has met someone else my dog has died and I have to move out my house in the new year I’m so depressed I just don’t know what to do the medication I’m on qautiapin keeps me at a weight I’m not happy at all though not overweight high end of normal weight is a bit thing for me as had a previous eating disorder as a teen I know I need to up my meds which I’ve been advised but with in a week I gain half a stone the thought of Christmas and New Year is crippling me and everything looks so bleak and the help is just not there due to the pandemic I don’t know what to do I have an apt on Christmas Eve with a duty consultant which I’m scared could be cancelled due to pandemic anyway I will tell them about the over doses but I don’t think they’re gonna give me much help unless I get to the point of sectioning as there’s just no help available at the moment and I’m worried I’m gonna do something stupid sorry for rambling but is anyone getting any help at this time?

Who will you be with over the holiday period? Are you celebrating with family?

Hopefully your Christmas Eve appt will go ahead, but try to focus on all the good bits of Christmas.

I am sorry to read this; I am not qualified to help but I really care and am really sad you’re having such a hard time. You are dealing with hard things and definitely keep talking here if it helps too but especially I think you should ring your GP or hospital asap so tomorrow and say how bad it’s got?

I think you are doing really well and being honest as you have is already a big help and I would tell them clearly too and go from there.
Losing a dog on its own takes time to get through , and I’m so sorry as you have a lot going on.
Do you have any plans where to move to? Or local support? Is it worth also reaching out to a local church if appropriate or other community group? Do you have understanding friends and family you can be open to too? But do start with your GP too xx

Re the weight, I was taught a really useful tool for anything I was anxious about - immediately switch your thought to something you DO like about yourself each time it pops into your head and however many times, keep doing this . Eventually after 21 days or so I was told the thinking pattern can change and make a big difference. I do this for a regret I was being plagued by however hard it tried not to think about it and I think something good each time it reappears and upsets me, and it has helped

The housing situation is complicated to say the least my mum is my carer I see her most days but I am staying in a flat by myself/with my son 50:50 he’s so excited for Christmas but I’m finding it hard to just not cry all the time I don’t really want to tell my mum 5 days before Christmas about how bad things are as she is trying to keep everything going for the family it’s silly things like I wanted to go and get my nAils and eyebrows done as haven’t had them done since before March but now in tier 4 here London I can’t even do that I’m gonna try the thought process thing as my mind is my own worst enemy right now I have taken the highest amount of medication I’m allowed to take so I can hopefully sleep properly for once I can go 4 days with no sleep unfortunately. Thankyou for your reply’s it’s nice to know I’m not alone as the nights are very long

You aren’t alone and I hope you sleep xx

hm2020 how are you today? I hope you are managing and ok

I’ve found out today whilst waking up with a high temp and sore throat that i was in contact with a COVID positive person a few days ago so isolating while I wait for a home test and results god knows how long that will take over Christmas I had to cancel well needed psychiatrist apt because of isolation and as long as I don’t give it to my immunodeficient son I will maybe bs greatful to cut off from reality with a really good excuse for a week if I don’t end up to unwell Christmas wasn’t as bad as I feared but I may not be able to see my son for a few weeks he is cev but I’m very calm and thankyou so much for asking

Oh and I hope u had a lovely Christmas x

So sorry to hear this and yet reassured you are calm; how frustrating to miss your appointment and I do hope you and your DS keep safe and well.
Yes I’ve had an ok one thanks . Took DC to the beach today as always enjoy a change of scene and managed to cook my first turkey yesterday . It was the smallest one I could find so reassuringly as easy as cooking a chicken!