I've struggled a lot with depression and anxiety in the past few years all centred around my fertility issues which included recurrent miscarriage. I had a very very high number of miscarriages.
When I was at my worst, I was suicidal and self harming by hitting myself hard until I bruised on my legs. My legs were a horrid black and blue for a while when it was really bad.
I am feeling much better depression wise but I've realised recently I spiral very quickly at certain triggers, to the point of panic attacks like I've not had in a while.
The main one is being blood on a toilet tissue.
I had a nose bleed a few weeks ago and wiped the blood away with tissue and the sight of the blood on the tissue sent me into a huge panic. It was horrible, I felt like I couldn't breathe and my chest was very tight. I was then anxious all evening like I used to be.
I stopped counselling during lockdown and I was honestly feeling like I may not go back, also no longer on my ADs as I'd been feeling much better but I'm now wondering if that was a bit naive of me and I could possibly be suffering from some PTSD?