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Possible PTSD

4 replies

Teensandfuture · 07/12/2020 18:58

Hi all
Looking for some advice.
I came to realisation I might have PTSD.
My dad died suddenly at the age of 69, in a foreign country where he lived most of his life, in July.
He lived alone and we don't have relatives over there. He wasn't seriously ill so it was very unexpected.
We weren't in a daily contact but at least twice a week used to chat/have a call . I've not heard from him for few days and he wasn't showing online recently, but that wasn't anything worrying.
It was his birthday so I've messaged, didn't get a reply so called.
I had a call back but when I picked up, it was a strangers voice on the phone. I knew immediately he's dead.

Basically police had to break in, and remove his body to morgue. They asked if there are any relatives who could take care of the funeral and if not we need to come from abroad to get it done, otherwise government will Bury him.

Long story short I have tried everything possible to get a flight but country is on a lockdown. I've had to beg friends to take care of situation and luckily I found someone who did.

We had a video link funeral and it must be the worst thing I have experienced in my life, to date.

I thought I'm getting better but 4 months down the line I wake up at night with flashbacks of him dying alone and being buried without his family by his side.

There are some ongoing legal inheritance issues we're unable to solve and government deadlines not giving allowance for covid, we're still unable to travel. This isn't helping but prolonging the agony.

My question is what help is available for this sort of thing on NHS and how do I ask for it?

Any other suggestions would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 07/12/2020 19:20

Flowers I'm so sorry for your loss in difficult circumstances. Flashbacks and dreaming are the brain trying to process, so while they are a normal part of adjustment after trauma, if they do continue they might indicate ptsd. What helps is to safely let yourself talk about the memory of that night, talk about the emotions you felt and notice and move on with any stuck beliefs. We tend to push away distressing memories but your brain needs to move it from 'danger/trauma' unprocessed file to 'that didn't happen today, I'm not in danger now, I'm sad and I'm rebuilding my life', so try to look back and look forward. Whether you do this with a professional is a choice. I would talk to your GP and get recommendations. Much love x

Finfintytint · 07/12/2020 19:24

You are experiencing a normal reaction to an abnormal event. As it’s been some time now I would speak to your GP.

samb80 · 07/12/2020 21:01

That sounds absolutely awful, I am so sorry to read what you've been through.
You should definitely seek some help 💐

Teensandfuture · 07/12/2020 22:32

Thank you all 💐

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