Borderline personality disorder

[whatsgoingonplease]

Can anyone help?

I can't cope with anything. I think I might have this. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life. I've got no reason for it. I've been on anti depressants on and off. But I have these extreme moods. I cry for hours and I feel so empty. I feel like a fraud. Like I don't exist.

My husband left me. And I've gone into free fall. Dating men online. And even when I know they're shits - waking up to one having sex with me when I'd said no. I still become this wreck. I fear abandonment so much. I've cried for two days. And I don't even know why any more. It's not normal is it. I feel so broken.

I'm on sertraline. But it's not helping. I have a counsellor from sarc from a separate rape in February. But I don't know if I can tell her all this. I feel like I'm going mad. Please can someone help

I think you're traumatised. Deeply traumatised, but not mad.

PTSD support and treatment is what you need.

Sounds like CPSD
You've been through a lot. I sounded like you about a year ago. I got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore I was completely broken I had to decide whether I was going to sink or swim.
It's difficult place to be.
I had to start with getting myself emotionally regulated and then move into healing.
All horrible and hard, I'm in a much better place but still recognise ive got a long way to go.

I also thought I had BPD, apparently this is really common when you are in free fall.
It's very unlikely you are BPD, just emotionally deregulated 💐

Whether it counts as bpd or not doesn't really matter. Emotional dysregulation is part of bpd. But the most important thing is that it sounds like you're really struggling and could do with some support? You've experienced some really tough things recently. It sounds like you're kind of feeling cut off from your feelings when it comes to the traumatic events. I'd really encourage you to tell the counsellor. I've told my therapist all kinds of things that made me feel like I would die from the shame. He never judges but validates and it really makes the feelings of shame become smaller. Write here if it helps.