Low days more frequent than high lately

[FlameBat]

I know I can get through this without ADs, I have done before, so can again.

I tend to find it helpful to splurge out my ramblings here though, so I will.

It has been building up for a while - housework is the first to go, then as it gets more of a state I get lower and more lethargic so even less gets done. I'm now back at the stage of being surrounded by cr*p.

I'm tired (as always), but having nightmares again so put off bedtime until late.

I want us to start having veg from veg shop, meat from butchers, but am having trouble finding a veg shop - have thought of somewhere I can try but will have to wait til tomorrow.

DS is fighting nappies, but not ready for potty training, so I will be scrubbing urine out of my sofa cushion in a minute.

I want to attack my house, I know I will feel better when I do, but my head is screaming for me to run and hide from it - either at a friend's or in bed.

I hate feeling so useless and sorry for myself. I know logically that it is depression, it is just something that happens to some people, but the irrational part (depression addled part) of my brain says that other people live perfectly normal happy lives with tidy houses and I am just lazy and useless.

Urgh.

This sounds so much like me! You can tell my mental state by the state of my house. It is absolutely always the first thing to go and then that just drags me down more.

ATM the lounge and the kitchen are reasonably ok, the rooms on show, but the bedrooms and the dining room are full of crap and such a mess. Again a pretty accurate representation of my mental state actually - all looks ok but underneath, not so much.

I've also been here before and got through it without help but this time last year I was doing so well it makes me realise how far down I've come which depresses me more. In my case i think it's abit of a post natal thing really and I know alot of the things i need to do to make myself feel better - diet, exercise, get out and about more, get off my arse and force myself to do things! - probably arent going to happen while I'm still bfing on demand and having broken nights so I'm kinda just going with it for now. But at the same time beating myself up for making excuses and telling myself everyone else manages to look after a baby without the rest of their life collapsing in a heap so why cant I?

Sorry this is no help at all, I have no words of wisdom or advice of any sort, just wanted to let you know you're not alone

Thank you

Just opened the machine to find that the nappy that I thought DH had dealt with yesterday (I was out all day), had actually been full of sh*t so I have it all in my machine, the nappies I have just washed are covered.

Oh no Bloody men

I've just been moaning on my pn thread about my dp who was supposed to be staying at a mates last night. He rang me at 3 am having decided he was going to walk the 15 miles home cos he wanted to see me but was cold and tired and it was dark and could i go and get him

He was quite sweet really, I was not!

yep - that will be me too - the more miserable i feel, the shittier my house. But i have to say, its a mess most of the time regardless of my mood, it just pisses me off more when im on a downer. I DO take ADs and they do help, but the house is still a mess, i just care less.

hiya, i have depression too, but just want to say, that i think those who dont , well alot of those are feeling it too. Its time of year. I just started a lazy cow thread.

I am not dressed, i did theironing inthe week after not doing any for about 2 weks (just bare minimum).

Oooh I don't do ironing bar school uniform (hurrah - a week off )

I have picked in the washing (been on the line for 3 days) - put ours in the ever growing stack, but got DD to put away hers and her brother's so I feel I am slightly better off. She has now announced a desire to do the washing up, so we're letting her

I am suddenly feeling much more positive - the baby step method is helping.

I have had depression for the last 11 years, my lowest was just before I was 21 - when I was finally told that I had depression and it wasn't just hormones/diet etc. That was when I went on ADs and could see clearly again. I wasn't on them for long, but it was enough to give me that lift, and I have spent the following 5 years being able to lift myself back out again.

It does help knowing others feel the same

It all dropped again - keep crying for no reason.

Urgh

How are you feeling today flame?

Much much better today thank you Had a very positive feeling morning (got the meat and veg), then my friend had a car accident so I have been occupied with helping out there (not a positive thing iyswim, but has helped focus me)

Lol yes I know what you mean about having something to focus on. Have been to the dietician for ds2 today, and she didnt seem particularly concerned which is good. She talked about what high cal food we can give him which has given me something to focus on and finally feel like i can do something towards fattening him up other than sitting around with my boobs out all day which hasn't really been doing much good!!

Do you find your also incredibly forgetful or is that just me?

Oh and was loling at you bringing your washing in off the line after 3 days, it reminded me to go get mine in which had also been out since friday! And I also only iron school clothes and thats only when i really have to. Someone tell me why I keep buying dd pleated skirts?!

Awww for your DS2

I'm very forgetful, I hate it I always feel so useless for not remembering the most simple things.

I went for the pleated pinafores for the reason that I want nicely ironed uniform (have always been adamant about it), and I knew the pleats would force me to do it