Crippling health anxiety - vulva cancer

[kate123cl]

Evening everyone,

I don't even know what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this but just wondering if anyone goes through the same?

My health anxiety is absolutely awful, it all started when I first got pregnant in 2018. So far, I've convinced myself that I have, lymph node cancer, vulva cancer, vaginal cancer and breast cancer. I've been scanned due to a breast lump I found back in 2019 and there was nothing there. I've had lumps on my vulva checked out and was told that they're not anything sinister but yet again I've found myself booking another GP apt to check out some more lumps on my vulva (I'm pregnant and they're most likely due to extra pressure/ varicose veins) but it's taking over my life!

I look at my little boy and just convince myself I won't be here to take him to his first day at school or watch him grow up - it's breaking me. I have a few weeks where I can control it and then it creeps back up when I find another possible symptom of something, I'm honestly exhausted.

Again, no real reason for posting but just looking for a hand hold

That does sound exhausting. I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Yes it's sensible to get it checked out. It is very probably varicose veins.

You say your health anxiety started when you were pregnant, were you treated at the time? Are you still on treatment? I'd honestly talk to your midwife about how you are feeling. She can refer you to the local perinatal mental health team who are usually excellent and very supportive.

Have you spoken to your GP about your anxiety?

Sorry to suggest it again but CBT is my best suggestion because your way of thinking is feeding this and you need to learn how to change that.

I remember when my anxiety was clinical and very bad, I read something really helpful that I drew on frequently. 'Be careful what you choose to focus on because what you focus on us what grows'.

So I try to switch to positive thoughts (even if I don't believe myself really' when I start thinking and imagining and role playing in my head the negative scenarios. It's been a very useful thing for me.

@slidingdrawers Thank you. I wasn't treated back then and I haven't ever been since actually. Do you think that the midwife or GP is best to speak to about this?

@Wolfiefan I haven't, deeply considering it, though.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying Thank you. That's actually really helpful and a great saying to remember. Some days I feel normal and the rest are just like this!

Either of them can refer you but may depend on when you are seeing your midwife next. If soon I'd speak to them first. Did you disclose your MH history in your booking? If so you could call and let them know it has escalated. They may be able to do the referral without necessarily seeing you in person.

You do need to. The problem is that even when you have reassurance the anxiety will switch to a new “issue”.

Therapy would help with the What ifs? Because talking through those really helps.
Remember the amount of fear you feel is not related to the amount of danger you are in.
The fear is being generated in by neurons firing in your brain which have zero medical knowledge of what is or isn't on your vulva!
The fear comes in waves, so try to enjoy the downtime between the waves.