Can't stop wanting to quit, or get divorced, or physically run out the door, or shag someone I fancied when I was 15, or shave my eyebrows off or dye all my hair even though I'm growing it out. I feel like a nutcase, and it's a constant - it's been this way for so long. When I don't channel it into anything, I get super self destructive and usually go for the alcohol or self harm.
What does this mean and how do I stop this? I've got no discernible talent, but I still get it when I'm creative / productive. Feels like chaotic ants in my brain.