Suicidal all the time

[NooNooHead1981]

I have various health issues, some of which have become worse since having my third baby 7 months ago.

Involuntary neurological movement disorder, narrow angle glaucoma, gum disease, constant anxiety about everything. I am probably depressed too. I know that none of these things are life limiting or threatening but they are draining me of the sheer enjoyment of anything in life. I feel in constant pain.

I am physically, mentally and emotionally tired of everything but can't leave my 3 beautiful children.

I am so scared and feel so alone.

Everything seems pointless. Teeth seem to be deteriorating. TD is the bane of my life.

Every minute of the day I want to cry

I read more about the adverse effects of Pilocarpine eye drops and it did say it was quite potent and likely to have more systemic effects...😢😫 grr.

I must be so sad
All I want to do is sleep to escape my body and life

My teeth and gums are so odd still.🤪😭

Yes... My best friend sent me a Xmas card telling me to get therapy and stop being miserable.
I know she is right but it is so hard when you are in constant pain 😭

See a doctor even remotely. You are clearly very unwell.

Write down absolutely everything and tell the doctor.
Do as you are asked. They are the experts.

I think sometimes friends think that doing a bit of ‘tough love’ is the right thing and in vip idly it can be but it’s rarely helped me and certainly doesn’t sound like her approach is helping you. I’m sure she still very much cares.
TD sounds awful, I take a shed load of anti-psychotics and it’s something I worry a bit about, it sounds like you were incredibly unlucky.
Please do contact the doctors, they really can help.

Yes, I think my best friend is fed up with my moaning for the past 6 months

Good morning OP- have you ever seen the vulnerability bucket model? If I have a person in my life that struggles with empathy i can find it helpful to visualise.

With an eye to this pain I have to agree with PP, it seems so extreme I really hope it's not normal care to be left like this. I know it's hard to motivate yourself to seek care but please do ask for the doctor. Perhaps a home visit would be worthwhile so they can see how affected your life is?

Thank you... I know they will only offer antidepressants which could affect my TD.

I am sure the eye drops will be OK but I am still worried. If I have to use steroid eye drops after, I worry how that might affect me too.

The gum issue is my biggest thing right now... Constant saliva must indicate something wrong surely?

Everyone must think my issues are trivial compared to some...

They will offer anti depressants because you are depressed. You are ill.

I assume you are not a doctor? how do you know which medications react with others?

I can be rather "nasty" because its the internet and because I have faced similar issues and your thinking is distorted.
See a dcotor "take" a friend , partner or chaperone if you like.

No, I am only a mere layperson but I reacted to a new Colgate toothpaste I used last night, so clearly I am sensitive to a lot of things.

Please speak to a doctor.

Do you usually see a dentist for your gums? Apologies I'm quite unaware of the whole process! I don't know if it's similar but a relative had excess tears due to an infection. Is that how it works?

Debenhams had some bargains including a half price leather jacket! I would have got it but I'd already brought it at full price... doh...

OP as gently as possible if you won't try anything just in case aggravates the existing symptoms, what do you expect them to do? You have 2 choices as I see it. Live on as you are which doesn't really seem sustainable or take the risk and try some treatments.

I hope I don't sound too harsh because god knows I understand, I live with trigeminal neuralgia but if I avoided everything that may set it off or has set it off in the past I would basically be in a coma.

Doing nothing and refusing all attempts to treat any of your symptoms isn't working. Look how miserable its making you. You're in pain either way, why be in pain AND have bad gums/teeth AND not have your laser treatment AND be depressed?

I know... I am speaking to a hygienist today and going to have laser treatment as the alternative is potentially an acute attack and blindness.

I am hoping the laser treatment will be OK

Hoping the hygienist calls me soon too

Maybe call them if there's not much time left before they shut? At least then you can put it to the back of your mind overnight

I will

I have such a fear that I will lose my teeth 😩😪

Have you spoken to your GP? Are you under a specialist? What do they suggest?

I am under a neurologist and he referred me to a specialist in London who said I had movements related to anxiety and my brain had 'learned' my reactions...

So you need to deal with the anxiety? Back to the GP?

Yes... Thought I had posted my reply but it has gone AWOL...

So scared of laser surgery... I don't want my TD to get worse x

Did you manage to speak to the hygienist?

Is there a way you can contact the place doing your laser surgery and talk through your concerns?

I guess the thing with anxiety is that you have to talk talk talk to see the perspective on things and get that reassurance

Hoping hygienist calls today.

My little boy is so wonderful..he just said 'poor mama"s teeth' and kissed my hand

My heart nearly broke thinking of how I could never ever leave him. He is wonderful, kind and special ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Could it be that the teeth have become a source of a fixation. The problem may be deeper, you should not be feeling suicidal. This is very worrying.