I've suffered with depression and anxiety in the past. However, when I felt depressed, I actually felt sad, low, crying, etc.
I've realised over the last few months that I just feel numb most of the time. I should say I'm a huge introvert and I've struggled with having DH working from home and the kids under my feet all the time during lockdown, so naturally I need more time to myself than ever but I constantly want to shut my self away.
My kids make me happy and I adore the bones of them, but beyond that, I just can't be bothered with anything. I don't feel upset or angry or enjoyment or happiness. I've always emotionally shut off to some degree and life has been pretty intense this year. My eldest has additional needs and we're currently fighting for things and support for school (including trying to get him into a SEN school). As a result, I'm just on autopilot to cope with it all.
I have several hobbies and interests but I'm finding even that too much some days. I've lost interest in eating well and cooking, friendships, my relationship. I can't remember the last time I even cried.
I've started having counselling but it's not really helping a ton. As mentioned, when I've had depression in the past, I felt down and cried a lot etc whereas now I don't feel much of anything, especially beyond my kids.
Does this sound like depression or something else?