Health anxiety around sexual health

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Does any have experience of this? For years I've been convinced I have an STD. I've had tests done and never had a positive result. The issue is it makes it very difficult for me to clean myself properly as I'm terrified I'll find a bump. I don't know what normal is. This means I end up getting genuine infections like thrush or blocked cysts.

How do I break this cycle? Does anyone have any experience?

OP I had this for years and it's really debilitating. I was too scared to talk to anyone and it really messed up my head. Even when I had negative tests I still felt worried. I would say this. Recognise it as anxiety and not reality. Get some therapy. CBT is helpful but also maybe proper counselling. You may be able to get this free from your GP. Could you also speak to your sexual health service (NHS) as they may be able to refer you. However in my experience the counselling from the sexual health service wasn't great because they thought I was ridiculous as I didn't have anything. If this is the case find a decent therapist, e.g. CBT etc and talk it through with them. It is essential that you feel you trust your therapist and they don't dismiss your concerns as silly. Also think about the root cause. Could this be an element of a negative pattern developed in childhood somehow? a therapist can help you explore why you do these things. Finally your lifestyle is very important. If you're more anxious look at some of the causes e.g. work stress, life stress. When we are more anxious our neuroses come out. You can address the life stressors and hopefully the neurosis will lesson as well.

Finally - always practice safe sex, and respect yourself - you could pledge to only have sex with people you are confident are sexually healthy (and request proof via test results!) and you feel a real connection to (at least in my situation this is important - maybe not for everyone). If you approach sex from a healthy perspective you will feel less scared and anxious.

PS get yourself a full spectrum of tests as well, just to clear your head, if you're scared at the moment. Then focus on the counselling etc. Don't be scared to get tested. Take it in small steps if you need to. E.g. identify the first small step you need to make e.g. 1) look up sexual health clinic on internet. 2) call them and make appointment 3) attend appointment. Do tiny things one step at a time, to make it easier.

PS always discuss your concerns with your sexual health nurse, if you say you're scared when booking they will make you a special appointment and be extra nice and sensitive when talking you through it.