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Burn Out?

9 replies

Arsenal123 · 23/11/2020 21:54

Hi all

I am under a lot of pressure at work. Not sure I can take much more of it. Several of my colleagues are off sick and 6/18 are leaving for jobs elsewhere. I've not had a day off due to sickness in over 2 years. I hate to let everyone down when we're so busy. I keep telling myself that if I get the mildest of symptoms I will take time off and recuperate. I feel terrible for looking for any excuse to take time off ... I don't think management will understand when staffing is already critically low. They're not always discreet and I wouldn't want my colleagues to know I'm struggling. I would rather keep it confidential. Not sure where to turn?

OP posts:
rumred · 25/11/2020 18:20

@Arsenal123 you need a break, all humans do, it's not weakness it's life.
If you're feeling particularly stressed then please talk to a gp, preferably a sympathetic one, if you know what your local gps are like.
I held out for years in a life sucking job and felt terrible guilt for being off with mental health issues. But it gave me time to reassess everything. Seriously, life is too short to spend feeling shit.
Do you have any friends you can talk to about what's happening?
Sending you a hug and strength

rumred · 25/11/2020 18:22

Oh and I read a useful book the joy of burnout I think it was called. Quite useful

Pickypolly · 25/11/2020 18:27

Do it, take time off before you have absolutely no choice because burnout builds and builds until you stop in your tracks and can no longer function at work or at home.

With no time off sick in over 10 years, my work became intolerable.
I was forced to stop it all because I just could not function.
The guilt was overwhelming.
Just taking the time off, stopping the work noise in my head has helped hugely.

Do it.

Arsenal123 · 22/01/2021 21:42

Thank you for the advice.

Is there anyway I can ensure the issue stays confidential. Unfortunately the whole team usually finds out why a member is off work. Management are not very discreet.

Could this affect job prospects elsewhere?

OP posts:
Hakunamatata91 · 23/01/2021 01:00

Take time off! I know its much easier said than done, but each time I've been in pretty much exactly that position and tried to push through, I have really paid the price (and wound up having to take time off ultimately anyway - probably a lot more than if I'd had a bit more insight at the time). At the end of the day, work isn't worth your health. One thing which I think its worth trying to bear in mind is that if the company is critically understaffed, that is the company's problem and fault (if its a long term issue) not yours. You shouldn't take that on. The logical follow up to that is that if you being off affects your colleagues' workload, that is the company's fault and issue, not yours. They need to sort their staffing out.

In terms of keeping it discreet, management should not be telling the rest of your team why you're off. That's a serious confidentiality breach if they do (I'm an employment lawyer). Equally, they shouldn't be telling any other employers why you're off. The vast majority of employers will give a factual reference only, which just has positions held and dates of employment. I think the biggest practical risk, depending on the industry you work in and how likely future boss is to know current boss, is that current boss is rubbish and says something to future boss over the phone or similar about your absences. But they shouldn't be doing that, and would be likely to get into trouble from their employer if they did (as it could give you cause for a claim against them if you found about it).

Future employers may also ask you to declare if you have had over 10 days' absence in the last year as part of a health questionnaire (only once you've been offered a job). If you say yes, you'll most likely get referred to occupational health who will have a call with you and primarily just be interested in whether you are fit for work now.

I know also that some GPs are sympathetic to how mental health issues are perceived in the workplace, and if you ask, will write something pretty vague on the fit note. But that's a bit pot luck as to what your GP's like.

Also, whilst its for you to judge, can't help noticing you say you've told yourself you'll take time off if the smallest signs show, but you're also already at the point where you're saying you don't feel you can take it. That sounds to be like someone really in need of time off, before things do really escalate in terms of your health. I'm no doctor or anything, but just worried for you from what you've written! One thing i've heard that helps me is that if you don't take time when you need it, sooner or later your body won't give you a choice anymore and will take that time.

So in short, it shouldn't affect your job prospects elsewhere, though if you work in a small/gossipy sector, you can never rule it out 100%. But try prioritise your health either way. Really hope it works out for you!

Hakunamatata91 · 23/01/2021 01:00

Sorry, didn't realise till I posted what a long message that was!

lousytypist · 23/01/2021 10:27

@Hakunamatata91 thank you for that post it is very helpful. I'm in a similar position to OP and need to do something about it but am scared of consequences for work / career in the future if I do take time off and scared of consequences for me if I don't.

OP I understand where you are coming from, this is a really hard place to be in and hope you find a solution. I actually "came out" to a colleague last week about being so burnt out and he was really nice - it actually made me feel better to know that someone else got it but I'm not sure that will last as it doesn't address the underlying issues. Is there someone at work you could confide in?

Lurcherloves · 11/07/2021 18:27

I feel disillusioned about work atm. I feel like all jobs induce burnout with the relentless unachievable amount of work. Anyone got a job that isn’t relentlessly overwhelming?

Bohoboo · 12/07/2021 00:56

Am sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. Take the time off now before you have no choice. I burnt myself out and my body made me stop - resulting in no longer being able to work and 4 years later still not fully back to where I would want to be. If only I had stopped much earlier the situation would be very different. Your body and mind need a rest - be kind to yourself.

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