Embarrassed at amateurish behaviour

[embarrased1974]

I have namechanged although I don't think I know anyone here. A couple of weeks ago I took part in a panel at an online event, I had to speak briefly about a matter I had prepared. I am not the greatest public speaker but when the time came, I felt relaxed. I started talking and all went wrong. At the beginning I made it more complicated than it should have been and my brain went blank. I couldn't speak and started to shake.

This happened two weeks ago and I am still not sleeping, worried that it will affect my self-confidence. The colleagues I have seen since then have been great but I still feel crap about the whole thing.

Can anyone recommend and self help books that may help me rationalise this and not let it damage me more? I live by myself and it's very easy to dwell too much on these negative thoughts. Thanks all

I did the same thing in a meeting last week - I felt like adding "I really do know what I'm talking about" at the end!

Glad to see that I'm not alone! Has it affected you much Cupoteap?

Please try not to overthink this more than you have done, as I can guarantee your colleagues won't have given it second thought! I bet it wasn't as bad as you think
It was :) and well done for public speaking, it's tough!

I have meetings with very senior public sector figures and if I had a pound for every time I finish and think why did I say that, why didn’t I say this, I should have been better prepared, and I have seen people do exactly the same as you but to be honest I very rarely give this a second thought, you are stressing about what others may have thought or be thinking of you after the presentation but in reality everyone will have been concentrating on there own speech, the fact you actually gave the presentation is the main thing, don’t worry about what others thought, work out the point you felt went wrong and try and improve on this next time, public speaking is like everything else you don’t wake up knowing how to do it you have to learn how to do it properly, the one tip that may help is next time present to a single colleague to get some feedback beforehand, you’ll then have it clearer in your mind what to say as you’ll already have done it

Thanks 20viona, you are right and my colleagues have been great, they've very said that it looked like I had a sore throat and couldn't talk (not true at all).

I have noticed an ongoing thread on Propanolol and it sounds like something that may help me next time. I just don't have the confidence to face another fiasco

Thanks user if I think rationally I realise people probably forgot about my embarrassing performance the minute the event was over, I know I would

Hi op it's not played on my mind however next meeting I have with the same group may well cause me too.

Have to try and not dwell, but this is hard for me.

Was it a panic attack? I started getting this randomly about a year ago in work situations. Feeling like my throat is closing up and completely losing my train of thought. No idea why - they weren't particularly anxiety inducing situations. I now try and do deep breathing when I think it might happen, which helps.

A former colleague uses propanolo for presentations.

I once had what I refer to as my car crash job interview, even if it is bad take comfort that the memory fades over time, and also that it is an opportunity to learn. I got a job interview coach and now I can do them. Maybe a public speaking coach would help, honestly it was the best money spent.

Also that it happens to everyone.