Finally reached out for help. What to expect.

[Peachblossom990]

I’ve suffered terribly with my mental health for near on a decade.
I haven’t even seen my GP since my DD was born 9 years ago. I moved counties and never even re registered for a new surgery. I just neglect myself. But my anxiety is getting out of control. I had what I suspect was a panic attack in bed last night. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and if I fell asleep I was going to die. My whole body went numb and even today I’m feeling shaky weak emotional and worried.
I want to live my life to the full I’m only 30 and I feel like my life is over before it’s barely begun and I need help. So I registered to a new surgery today. I could have an appointment in 48 hours. What can I expect? Will they even believe me as I’ve not seen a GP in so long. Can anyone advise please

They WILL believe you, they will ask you to tell them about it and how it affects you, they may offer therapy (huge waiting lists in most places) they may offer anti-depressants (some of them are tailored towards anxiety).

If you're this anxious about it I would expect the GP to recognise that anxiety, they're not there to call you a liar or doubt your story.

Take tissues as you likely will cry buckets.

It might be worth having a google of the meds used before so you can get an idea, it's not just pumping you full of valium anymore.
Lorazepam and a couple of others are quite 'low key' for oncoming panic attacks they won't leave you visibly medicated or half asleep and work in minutes.
Beta blockers are slightly different (I've not used them so can't comment but I know people who swear by them)
Anti depressants are accumulative (for want of a better word) you may not feel any benefit for a few months and the first you try may not be suitable. It is trial and error with anti-depressants so stick with it.

They really will take you seriously

I already feel emotional just thinking about attending. I’m scared but I think I’ll so few a massive relief that all these feelings I’ve been holding in and suppressing for years are going to to come out and I can admit to someone that can help me that I have a problem that I can’t fix on my own.

Well done for reaching out for help. You could also look at this self help guide - page 6 describes your physical symptoms perfectly;

www.getselfhelp.co.ukdocs/SelfHelpCourse.pdf

I've a history of avoiding GPs and then going in and offloading years of stress and there is a huge sense of relief, but I am also very tearful during and after gasping for air through sobs and and the occasional snot bubble may happen! They've seen it all before.

It is worth it and the sense of taking control by managing your symptoms gives your self esteem a huge boost as well.

@Sarahlou63
That is massively helpful! Page 7 also describes my behaviour as well. I used to always want to be out my house with friends I was a really out going person. Now all I want to do is lock myself in my house and do something to distract myself. I never ever sit down and relax in my own home anymore. All I do is clean, or organise or find something to do. I dread coming to work now because I feel like everyone here thinks I’m weird or awkward. I just want to feel better now.

@lilmishap i actually really don’t know why I haven’t seen anyone yet. I just think “oh I’m fine it’s just an off day” or “ you’re not actually poorly you’re fine you’ll get through it, you always do” then I don’t and I’m back to square one.
I haven’t seen a doctor for anything in 9 years. I’ve probably missed all my smear tests. I know for a fact my contraceptive implant needs changing. I just avoid instead of being judged.

It's likely because you have anxiety! Avoidance is part of it, but depression can have the same effect.

Can I suggest you write everything down so you can just hand it to the dr? I remember my first appointment and I was terrified. Was literally the hardest thing I have ever done.
Since then I’ve probably seen 20+ different doctors about my mental health and every single one has been understanding and kind.
This is the hardest step. It gets easier after this I promise. Good luck.

I second what others have said. I called the GP a couple of months ago having struggled for a long time. I'd always managed to carry on but the feelings of hopelessness were overwhelming (mine's depression more than anxiety, although I have both). I felt like such a fraud speaking to the GP (it was a phone appointment) but he couldn't have been more lovely. He took me seriously, prescribed citalopram, and referred me for CBT. I've had 4 CBT sessions over the phone and they have helped enormously. I didn't start taking the citalopram for a month or so, as I was worried about side effects, but I've now been on it for about 5 weeks - I'm not sure if it's helping or not yet, but I don't feel worse than I did. I have felt a lot of relief that someone is aware of how I feel.

Your feelings are valid, you will be listened to and they will help you.

Thanks so much everyone for being so kind. I’m
Hoping to ring after 48 hours which is when my registration will be complete. I really don’t want to suffer another anxiety attack it really scared me.

Try breathing exercises - here are some;

www.healthline.com/health/breathing-exercises-for-anxiety#abdomen-breathing

Practise now so that you know what do to if you feel an anxiety attack coming on!