Possible mh warning signs 10yr old

[Superhumancrew]

Hi, I don't know whether to post here, or in children's health, so let me know if this is the wrong place!

Basically I'm slightly concerned about my dd (10). There is mental health issues in the family, both sides, ranging from mild anxiety, to eupd, eating disorders, and also aspergers/autism. I am not with dds dad, we split up when she was 5, which was a traumatic time. We also had her very young, and have suffered with issues like poverty, depression and addiction. We have tried to make her life as stable as possible, and she does have a lot of loving influences, but basically she hasn't had it easy.

I am concerned recently because she is displaying symptoms such as intense rocking backwards and forwards, compulsive movements, repeated tapping/touching. She also confided that she is "worried people can read her thoughts at school", and that her hair is falling out, when I asked her a bit more she said she thinks about it a lot. And it's obviously a quite distressing for her. She worries a lot generally about things, and had some support from the school with dealing with worries. But this has stopped now. She was behind with her learning, but isn't by any means slow, she just gets incredibly distracted by her own thoughts, and tends to drift off. Her motor skills are also behind, this was patiallly to do with being left handed, but when I watch her stiring cake mix etc, it almost looks like she is no handed, as in she doesn't seem to favour either hand, both are awkward.

I'm not sure whether these are normal things for her age, or if I should mention them to someone? I have mental health issues myself so don't want to make it worse by getting involved and having her learn behaviours from me. I have talked to her about a worry book, and we've done blowing the worries away etc. I just don't know if I should mention about paranoid thoughts, she seems very young to be having them. Has anyone got any advice please?

I would suggest you look into the possibility of undiagnosed Autism first. The anxiety that comes with ASD can cause symptoms like those you describe.

My DDs were diagnosed late because their difficulties were so well masked and some of what you describe is very familiar to me.

Thank you poppinjay for replying! It was mentioned at one point by the school, but when I asked whether we should get a diagnosis, they said we'd have to go through the Dr, and basically there is a huge waiting list, and her symptoms weren't severe enough that a diagnosis would be helpful! However, that was 4 years ago, and I'm concerned about puberty and changing schools if she does have some undiagnosed issue, such as autism. Would you suggest going to the Dr? I just want to make sure she's got the right support so she doesn't feel isolated. The paranoid thoughts are a new thing, and they are worrying me a bit, because it almost appears delusional in some ways (though I would never insinuate that to her).

Don't ask for a diagnosis. Ask for an assessment. You want to find out the root cause of her symptoms. I would ask the GP to refer her to a community paediatrician or whoever carries out neurodevelopmental assessments in your area.

Yes. Waiting lists are often long but they are still worth getting on.

The school staff should not have commented that her difficulties weren't severe enough for an assessment. Lots of children mask their symptoms at school. Teachers and support staff are nowhere near qualified to give out this sort of advice.

I would have the first conversation with the GP without her in earshot. They can follow up with an appointment that includes her if they want. It's just better to be able to speak freely without causing your child even more anxiety or damaging their self-esteem.

If ASD has been mentioned before, I'd say it is well worth exploring. Children on the spectrum tend to become more different from their peers, the older they get, and feeling different while trying desperately to fit in can put a child under enormous stress.

If the GP isn't receptive - they minimise these things far too often - you can also approach the school nurse service for a referral.

Thank you. Your reply has been extremely helpful. It make a lot of sense. Whatever the root cause, its the anxiety symptoms that she needs help with. I didn't know it was possible to have an appointment for her without her being there, but think that's wise, as the last thing I want her to do is worry that there is something wrong with her, or that she is different! Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. I hope that your dc are doing OK.

My biggest worry is the change of school next year. She's been in a really small supportive environment, but is set to go to a much bigger, rougher secondary where she knows no one. I'm trying not to let it show, but with all her difficulties, and sensitivity, I am terrified about how she is going to cope. And what it might mean for her.

Is the current school putting support in place to manage her difficulties and sensitivities?

If so, is that support recorded in writing?

Some of what you describe also sounds like inattentive ADHD and could be worth pursuing an assessement for both if possible as they can coexist.

I have ADHD and think just having someone there throughout to give lots of positive reinforcement and explain what to expect in new situations is the best thing, which it sounds like you are.

She has support but it wasn't an official thing just something that the school kindly put in place to help her. She only had a few sessions, as she wasn't a priority, but those really helped. She had someone come in from outside of school to do play therapy. It's all recorded but it's an i
ep, not an Iep, or something, so it's recorded but not officially classed as sen.
I know what u mean about the add thing aswell, I did wonder that. She looses a lot of time drifting, and is always fiddling with something. Her most comforting thing is rocking on the swing, she spends hours doing that, and just thinking.

It sounds like she absolutely has had official SEN support and it has been recorded as such. She is struggling in several different areas and should be assessed and supported in all of them.

You're being manipulated by the comments about it being unofficial. Parents get told this to keep them grateful for inadequate support and reluctant to push for more in case it's withdrawn.

As you are concerned that she won't cope in the next school, I would request an EHC Needs Assessment. I can virtually guarantee that the school will dismiss your concerns and be adamant that she doesn't meet the criteria but she does. This blog explains quite well. The assessment could pick up on issues that are currently being missed.

Another thing to consider with the motor skills maybe be dyspraxia. My 9yo is diagnosed and she does have some anxiety issues. She had some 121 support around that with weekly sessions to explore her feelings.

She also seems to have behaviours that appear when she is anxious. She will go through phases of feeing sick and retching or worrying about needing the toilet. These will happen for a month or two and then change to something else.

She also likes comfort - at the moment the bath seems to be her happy place. She will spend 1-2 hours in there every evening. It's a comfort thing for her.