Pressure

[IronNeonClasp]

I feel awful. I'm not sure if this is mental health or work really. I've had a hugely stressful week in work with one of my team in sick Mon and second team member off on leave Weds. had a very intense launch Tuesday I was working until 9pm on Monday to get everything ready. It all went ok but very thankless. The weeks been like that as I'm on my own sick staff member back today. I made a mistake which I admitted and emailed the person but the person cc'd two of my colleagues which made me feel crappy, then I was on an hr meeting trying to describing who we are trying to recruit and I muddled my words and said someone 'spectrummy' (like me) like I have turrets when I'm under pressure and just blurted it out instead of saying 'meticulous attention' to detail or something more descriptive. I feel so overworked working from home since March, my kids back from school 3:30 each afternoon and I'm on a meeting that time everyday. I'm losing my grip. My house is tiny - I'd never wish it on anyone to be working from my home. I've been having problems with my boyfriend. I feel like I'm losing my grip on everything, like the cracks are starting to show and people are expecting me to fail.. I feel so mentally ill trying to keep it together and that my boss who doesn't really know what my work involves hasn't really got my back. I wish I could move to another post but there's a ban on moving because of Covid. Just had to get it out somewhere Feeling nuts and undervalued and that it's just too difficult to get on in life.

I'm just constantly punishing myself unable to see any light or get any perspective. No support anywhere. I don't know how much of this is pandemic fatigue or normal or just a bad week.

Hugs OP . You sound v conscientious. That sounds like a lot of stress. I've had a rubbish week and am trying to have a relaxing weekend doing self-care I have neglected too. I think this helps then I can think more objectively about what could change to make things better. Covering sick leave is hard, be kind to yourself.

Hugs to you OP. I could have written a very similar post. I’ve just broken under the strain this week - things being too confusing at work. My mind making things up about my position at work that maybe aren’t there. I went to my gp yesterday who’s signed me off for a week. Just having a bit of time and space to decide how to tackle this mental health problem is good. I’d recommend you speak to your gp and see what help is available to you.

Thanks so much for the replies. Actually felt a bit better today and had a good chat with my boss who played down the meeting incident saying she fucks up regularly on high profile meetings. It made me feel much better. I was feeling delusional last night honestly. I don't think it helps having to talk to your laptop all day, then being mum, then being a girlfriend on the weekend. I'm feeling v middle aged and my gums are receding rapidly. That's making me feel crap. I'm sorry for the pity party but I needed to get it out. I don't know if it's to be expected with the pandemic fatigue but it's been such an intense week.
Thank you again and flowers to you