Struggling and nothing is helping me

[helpmeout45]

I’m 23 and I feel silly saying this because everyone has had a hard year and is in the same boat (as everyone keeps telling me) but I am seriously struggling now.

This year I’ve had so much go wrong, including a break up after 5 years and having to live alone in our flat for a while. Ive had to move back in with my parents, buy a new car, the lot. I was struggling a lot with my mental health prior to this anyway, I’ve struggled with anxiety and low self esteem for years. I then fell out with my very best friend of 10 years, admittedly it was from her part after she was very very nasty but it still feels awful.
I felt like this a few months back and mentioned I didn’t really want to be around anymore. I had a huge falling with my family who basically told me I’m being dramatic, stupid and saying it just for attention. I also told some friends who were sympathetic but never really checked on me afterwards.

I’ve always been ok with distracting myself from work but not even that is helping me now. I go into work everyday and, because I work from my own timetable, I genuinely sit and spend half the time just sat there staring at the wall wanting to cry. When I come home I sleep because to be quite honest I don’t really want to do anything else. I also constantly feel sick to the pit of my stomach every single day which isn’t helping with me eating. My mind is on overdrive constantly and I can never switch it off.

I am on tablets which really helped a few months ago but now I just fear I’m struggling way too much. I also have weekly counselling/therapy which has been somewhat helpful. I just feel completely hopeless and useless. I’m trying to exercise etc too and I have done a bit but it’s just too hard for me. Literally nothing can distract me from just wanting to sleep and disappear.
As silly as this sounds as well, I’ve been absolutely mugged off by two guys I had been speaking to. Both didn’t want anything serious and my brain just absolutely convinced me I’ve done something wrong and I think about it all the time.

I just don’t know what to do anymore?

Anyone got any advice? 🥺

Didn't want to read and run

It is hard at the moment but it sounds like you're really struggling. Not sure what to recommend other than seek more help from the GP if you need it and try to surround yourself with people, social media and things that are helpful rather than not if that makes sense. You are doing an amazing job of surviving and will come through this stronger. Just hang on in there

It sounds to me like you’re doing everything right - are you open with your counsellor about these feelings, what do they say? It sounds like you don’t have much listening support around you, but might people be happy to just spend time together or do something that might distract you - whatever it is you feel up to?

I think it would be worth getting in touch with your gp again and asking their advice. Well done on going to counselling and asking for help in the first place, that in itself can be very hard.
I’m really sorry that you’re feeling like this, I personally think that friendship break ups are often harder than romantic.

Sending positive vibes your way xx

Thank you everyone 🥺 my counsellor says she thinks i feel sick because my mind is on overdrive and I overthink everything and I just expect things to go wrong so I’m just waiting for the next bad thing to happen - she’s definitely right!!!
Forgot to mention as well that am a healthcare professional and I work in various schools and can’t mix with the staff etc in the staff room as I’m technically a visitor. So I work on my own all day apart from seeing children and honestly I am sooooo lonely all day. It’s all really getting too much. I’m just so unsatisfied with everything

The pandemic really isn’t helping you at all. Working with children and having very limited contact with other adults all day is very lonely. It really won’t last forever, but for now you need to find something to keep you going. Try keeping up with your friends. Often friends and family don’t know how to react or behave when someone is mentally unwell. Try to be patient with them and even more so with yourself. I love listening to de chaterjee podcasts-give them a go.