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Year from hell - don’t know where to turn

13 replies

Allthepenguins · 18/11/2020 17:49

I’ll try to summarise my 2020.
My grandad died which then resulted in my entire family falling out with each other as it came out that he used to sexually abuse my mum - and no one (but us) believed her. I had the first argument I’ve ever had with my cousin over it, she said she thought mum was exaggerating and was mad she kept it quiet. We were so close, I have no siblings and she was the closest thing I had to a sister. She was my daughters godmother, I was due to be her bridesmaid, we would spend hours each week chatting and if anything went wrong she was who I turned to. She also understood my anxiety and was the only person on earth who knew how to help me through a panic attack.

Then my wedding that was booked for 3 years got cancelled (COVID)

Then my cousin who I’ve just spoken about died suddenly. Due to her parents and mine not speaking I didn’t get an invite to the funeral. I have no idea where her ashes were scattered and no where really to grieve. I’m just told it happens, pull yourself together. She was 26 an undiagnosed heart problem.
Rebooked wedding gets cancelled.
We’re TTC with no luck which is causing issues on top of everything else, causing horrific arguments and stress.
Mum is drinking a lot more and isn’t herself, she never seems with it anymore.
FIL then gets diagnosed with cancer. He’s abroad so we can’t go and see him.
I lose my job.

The other day I drove to a cliff edge and thought about driving off. My friend got the police out looking for me.
I feel like I’m trying my best to cope but every time I try, something else knocks me down.
I know people have it worse which is what makes me feel even more guilty for feeling this way.
I feel like I can’t cope with day to day life and minor issues feel like huge problems; I’m snappy, I’m tired; I don’t see the point in trying cos I feel like if I do some other shit will happen.

OP posts:
Sometimesonly · 18/11/2020 17:51

That is truly a shit year. What a lot you have had to cope with. Is your partner helping you?

Allthepenguins · 18/11/2020 18:01

@Sometimesonly he was but now he’s saying he’s sick of me being miserable. I feel bad as now he’s got his own worries with his dad and feel like I should be strong.

OP posts:
crochetcrazy1978 · 18/11/2020 18:15

Bless you that all sounds horrendous!!! Please contact your gp and ask for help. Antidepressants and councelling literally saved my life xx

Elieza · 18/11/2020 18:21

It has been a truly awful year for many people. I’m sorry you’ve had a really bad time of it and have lost loved ones. It’s been a stressful year for you.

Have you been to your GP yet? It could be that you need a course of antidepressants to rebalance you and perhaps some grief counselling to deal with the issues that have arisen recently.

Give the GP a phone tomorrow and tell the receptionist that you really need an appointment. I know it’s hard to get appointments sometimes but you do really need one.

Has your partner been trying to get you to the GP too? He could be more supportive than moaning at you. But perhaps he doesn’t understand what you have been going through. Some people have no empathy.

Things will get better. Phone the GP.
In the meantime if you have dark thoughts phone the Samaritans or one of the other organisations you can find details for on MN. That’s what they are there for.

Things will get better.
Flowers

Laurolii · 18/11/2020 20:15

It sounds like a really hard year. I think anyone would find it hard to cope. I would agree with other posters that going to the doctor would be a good idea. Waiting lists for counselling are long, but could you afford to go private? Please don't give up Flowers

Naomiedwards · 18/11/2020 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

User258544 · 18/11/2020 23:01

Op that sounds horriffic!! I'm not surprised you are at the end of your tether. It does sound like you are bordering on depression. The only advice I have is deal with practical stuff thing at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. It is (I am learning) very easy to take on too many things. Someone to talk to and listen to you e.g. counselling will help. Defo speak to your GP Flowers

Tootsietoot · 18/11/2020 23:06

Oh what a terrible year. I had an awful year like that when I was in my twenties and came close to ending it. I look back now and think thank fuck I didn't. I got through it and got much stronger. I lost someone close to me like your cousin in am unresolved manner but with time I realised we would have made up if we had known. I'm sure your cousin feels the same. Give your Mum support if you can she will be reliving everything. Things improve.

Tootsietoot · 18/11/2020 23:09

@Naomiedwards hugely inappropriate to your for business on a thread like this. @Allthepenguins do not ring this woman!!!

Tootsietoot · 18/11/2020 23:09

Your= tout

AlexaShutUp · 18/11/2020 23:19

I'm so sorry, OP. It sounds like a truly terrible year. Please see your doctor and get help. You might not see any light at the end of the tunnel right now, but this too shall pass. Life will get easier again.Flowers

Naomiedwards, I have reported your post. Please don't use this site to tout for business from people who are clearly vulnerable. That isn't ethical at all.

Allthepenguins · 20/11/2020 09:01

Thank you all. I’ve got a GP appointment and referral for bereavement counselling x

OP posts:
Elieza · 20/11/2020 18:26

Great news. You can get some support to get over the past awful year you’ve had.

Flowers
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