Has anybody successfully trained themselves to stop sulking

[LimeMintGreen]

I am a sulker and I bloody hate it. I don't do it all the time but sulking/being moody is often my first response to frustration or anger. I instantly withdraw and close off. I even sulk with my two-year-old sometimes. It's ridiculous!

On the inside it feels more like I'm somehow protecting myself and trying to get some mental space and peace rather than intending to be passive aggressive to get a reaction from someone else. I know it's horrible for the other person and I feel bad about it

I know it's an immature and unhelpful response but I can't seem to stop myself, even when I know I'm doing it and it's embarrassing. I am sure there are ways to train yourself not to do this. I am generally known as a sunny, happy, glass half full type of person and I'd like to find healthier ways to deal with frustration and anger.

If it makes a difference, I'm 47 and feel that I really should be better at emotional resilience by now!

It sounds to me that your awareness of the situation means that you've gone a long way along towards not being a sulker. I think that a withdrawal reaction can help you prevent some other more unwelcome outburst. And maybe it gives you time to process what you're feeling and work out how you want to deal with things.

I'm sure that your awareness prevents you from prolonging the sulking but if it doesn't, maybe that's the first thing to tackle. Give yourself permission to withdraw for a short period of time but use that time to think about why you felt the need to do that and to work out what you want to do or say instead, and then return to do that.

I agree with PP, we all react differently. It is difficult without specific examples but I suppose you could set a time limit. Someone once said it takes a day and a sleep (or a sleep and a day!) to feel better so maybe that sort of length of time.

Are you able to verbalise what you’re feeling? DH used to sulk, but managed to stop after seeing a counsellor. His stemmed from a fear of expressing negative emotions.

Posted too soon...

..the fear of expressing negative emotions came from a fear of rejection / not being loved

The theory is that negative behaviours tend to have fear somewhere at their root. If you can tackle the fear then the habit should be easier to break.