Mental helth ruining my marriage

[mynameismrsright]

I have been diagnosed with GAD, OCD and possibly depression brought on by the previous two.

I'm starting group CBT next week on Skype, on the NHS. I've never been medicated or had previous therapy as I always managed to cope, but lcokdown and closure of gyms and not seeing friends has really pushed me out of my comfort zone.

My marriage is suffering, I don't feel like having sex at all, struggle with housework, and cannot focus. My OCD keeps goading me with scenarios of my DH and I breaking in our early relationship (something I remember as catastrophic, he remembers as a small, silly tiff).

I'm really at the bottom, need advice on how to make DH understand I'm not well, he doesn't seem to get it.

Can I ask why you’ve never had antidepressants ?

@FippertyGibbett they were never prescribed, I was told by the therapist I spoke to that I wouldn't need them. I'm starting to think I need to take them, it's becoming really hard to function.

I think you need a word with your GP.
My DH has anxiety and they really were a life saver for him.

I feel so guilty, I cannot be happy, but I have no reason at all not to be happy, I have 2 DC, a DH, a home. I really have to reason to complain, but I'm so low.

I think you owe it to yourself and your family to at least try it.
But you must stick with it. There was no change for the first month with my DH, I thought it wasn’t working, but at the end of that first month I saw a glimmer of hope. He was slightly better every month, and by 6 months he was so much better.
He had CBT twice. The first lot helped, the second didn’t as he didn’t gel with the therapist.
You really need to stick with it until you find the drug and therapy that suits YOU.
Good luck, and phone that GP tomorrow 💐

Sorry, Monday !!

@FippertyGibbett thanks :* I'm feeling so lonely, I cannot talk to anyone apart on here, and I really need to, I'm so desperate. I feel like my kids would be happier with someone else as mum, and my husban too.

I don't deserve my family. I'm trapped in my brain, all these unhappy thoughts.

I just want to go out for a walk and maybe read a book, cook a nice meal.

I was going to a gym, had made new friends, was meeting them and their kids, and now we are in lockdown again.

You can always speak to Samaritans, they are happy to chat when you’re feeling low.
Make a plan to phone the GP on Monday and make sure they know fully how you are feeling.
Do you do any exercise ? I love to go for a walk whatever the weather, and I say ‘hi’ to those who look receptive. And I sometimes do an exercise class off you tube.
What do you enjoy, or what did you use to enjoy ?

Are your gym doing Zoom sessions ?

@FippertyGibbett going for walks with the children, reading, cooking nice things, doing my nails. It's like I just don't feel like doing it.

So make yourself go for a walk every day, whatever the weather. Get some fresh air. Do you take vitamin D ? We should be taking it in the winter.
Then maybe do one other thing like making a nice tea or cakes for the kids.
I felt low when I was furloughed, so I made myself do an exercise class on you tube or fake tan myself top to bottom. Something for me.
You have to make yourself do it, as hard as it is.
Good luck, and I hope you get sorted and start to feel more like the old you soon.

Just had a muffin and some coffee :) feeling a little but better